April 2nd
School tomorrow - UGH? I'll have to start thinking again. Say, ya know what? Helene wants to start going to a psychiatrist again. Isn't that great? If she sticks with it, maybe things can be a heck of a lot different.
April 3rd
Peter...die...ack... that boy is just too precious! With that innocent/dumb look, he sure shook me when he kissed Julie Newmar. Davy, my pint-sized performer, is a babydoll too.
April 4th
Yay Queersville! New game here -- "Queer's the Word". Inspired, of course, by Q.R., Judi and me have been in absolute hysterics! Gary & Sharon got married (she's guess what) last Wednesday and Russ (Redhead) and some girl tried to run away to get married. Found a new baby! He's small, a little shorter than Little Kurt with great lookin' blonde hair. He looks tough. I don't think he's a sophomore but I'm not sure. Anyway, he's presh!
April 5th
Thoughts -- I luv "Come Spy with Me" by the Miracles - outasite! Ya know, kids have been telling me that I have a good chance of becoming pres. if I run. Sue E has some problems. By the way, she and Kelby broke up.
April 7th
I MIGHT GET MY BRACES OFF BEFORE THE TRIP! Wahoo! I went today to get a new plate -- I better keep my hands on this one. Darryl was on Kirby Scott with a cute girl. "MOD '67" is tonight. Guess who Terri went out with last nite? You'll die! -- Harry!! Fast isn't the word, baby. I wonder what Levin'll say. I have to admit, tho, she has been a heck of a lot nicer lately.
Darryl was a Forest Garden neighbor who was, I think, 2 years older. It turned out that he was gay. He went on to have a successful and amazing career in puppetry, but so sadly died in '92 from AIDS.
April 8th
Driver's Ed today. Say, you know, I'll drive in June! That kid that I think is Lee Coplan -- well, I'm not sure yet, but he's precious! I've gotta find out. "Damn Yankees" was on tonite -- Excellante!!
April 9th
Ah, freedom! Now that Terri's got her license she's in great demand. She, me and Ellen rode to the Plaza and over Sally's (what? yeah!). It was great, let me tell you. Can't wait to get mine!
Boy do I remember this. Terri drove a white Mustang and I always associate driving with her with the Rascals "Groovin'".
April 10th
Luv ya Davy...& Peter & Monkee Mickey & Mike. I hope you don't get too sick of this. There was an excellent new song on the show -- Davy played drums. I swear, sometimes he reminds me of McGovern! Got a *108* on a biology test and I'm about to pull another fast one on Kilgallon for excitement -- my vocab. notebook. Anything to relieve the monotony. Speaking of Kilgallon, Gerri told me that he's a fairy. Ooh gross...
OK -- another embarrassing entry, about Kilgallon. But, this was my first up close and personal experience with gays and clearly I didn't know anything about anything. So glad we've come at least as far as we have.
April 11th
Term ends this Friday -- Happy Days Are Here Again! Oh yeah -- I got some precious stuff at the Debby Shop yesterday. We'll just have to keep going 'til we get everything. Half the school cut today to see the Oriole opener. We won!
April 12th
Terri took me to Confirmation but first we went to the Plaza. Saw Jeff Abarbanel, a St. Bernard and went in the Leather People. Nelson is precious. Poor John is dead/onion cookies/spilt milk -- words for the day.
The Leather People was the first head shop that I ever went into and Nelson was it's very hip(pie) owner.
April 13th
Hiya. I should be getting dressed but I kinda don't want to move. This'll be a sort of haphazard note, one of my thought papers, OK?
LBG (Little Blonde Guy) is precious, and tough too! Guess what? Little Kurt is going with someone! Terri heard him tell Chuck Smith that he might ask her to go steady. Somehow I have trouble imagining him with a girl. Speedy's still around. Pill got a haircut -- ychh. Gary's back in school. McGovern better give me a B or I'll murder him. Tomorrow's an algebra test. I gotsta do good! I'm so damn lazy I could kill myself.
April 16th
Well, here we go again! Remember Bob & Steve and Terri and me? Well, folks, now it's Arthur & Randy baby. Blonde and a real little Texan for ya. I luv him! Tomorrow Terri tells him I like him.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
1967 - March
March 1st
Hey Ma, guess what? Woodlawn was on fire today -- really! We had 8 fire engines and the school smelled horrible! The fire was confined to the boiler room, I think, but until they knew the full extent of the thing, they had to keep us outside. Man, did we freeze! End Part I. Part II -- I asked him!! Danny! After that dream, I had my doubts. Only worry now is about clothes and hair appointment.
March 2nd
OH BOY! Terri thinks she's comin' to the Soph Party. It's gonna be excellent. Only thing is -- if Sue T. comes I'm gonna have a bit-o-trouble explaining about Danny.
March 3rd
Jim Peters was on Kirby Scott (I think). So was Seale Shannon, in case you're interested. Guess what? Judi and me are gonna write a book about life at Woodlawn. It'll be so funny -- if we ever finish.
Or ever start. ;-)
March 4th
Well, it happened. I was always afraid that Sally would date before me 'cause of my "image", you know, but now that it's happened I'm not really upset. Ya wanna know why? 'Cause I know that I'm really happier than she is -- my group of friends and all. And, in time, I'll go out, too, and with great guys, not schlemiels. Sometimes you just have to wait longer for the best, right?
I really didn't remember that I was this competitive with Sally, for so long. And it's interesting to see my efforts at rationalization...
March 5th
Jeff and Dad went to the circus this afternoon and Danny came over. It was so funny -- we worked on this problem for ages, trying to get what I told him was the right answer. But then he discovered that I had looked at the answers for the wrong section and he had been right the whole time! I was scared that he was gonna kill me. But he didn't.
March 6th
Home sick today. Honest -- I really felt lousy this time. I hear the school was on fire again today. Cute. Boy, I'm glad I wasn't there to stand out in the rain. Walters wasn't there, thank God, but either was Terri and I didn't know it. Gosh darn. I've been hearin' an awful lot about UFOs lately. Remind me to tell you about yesterday's Chizuk Brotherhood breakfast.
Telling your diary to remind you of things is not very effective.
March 7th
Jeff's birthday today. I went to school (for the heck of it?) in the muck and rain. Man, there were floods everywhere. It's been rainin' for 3 days!! Anyways, I got sent home again. Sick.
You know, those urges and moods I've been getting lately seem to be coming on pretty strong. The latest -- making out with Mickey Dolenz. Oh well. Last night I had a little depression -- felt sorry for myself and all. Jeff was doin' an exceptionally good job of irritating me. So I cried from 9 to 9:30 and then went in to watch "Mark Twain Tonight". FANTASTIC! He was marvelous -- cynical, humorous, just wild. You name it, he knocked it. Some day I'd like to do a study on him.
Sophomore Dance Time --
Dates - Me & Danny, Terri & Jay, Linda & Jeff, Barbara & Harry, Ann & Alan, Marlene Jacobs & Jay (?), Sue McLaughlin & Steve, Sue Edwards & Kelby, Ellen & Steve, Debbie & Ronnie Mansur
Decorations - Ann tells me they're real bad, and I had told everyone to expect something spectacular. My golly -- the decorations are practically everything. They'd better be good!
Attendance - Some say crowded, some say not. I'm inclined to agree with those who predict a not-too-large turnout. Maybe I'm just pessimistic after the decorations report. I sure hope it's not a repeat of the Junior It.
Dress - Me -- blue dress with white vertical stripes, white collar and front buttons. Looks better than it sounds. Also, sling-backs. Ann -- Now get this! White rabbit pocketbook, gloves -- oh brother! She's even getting her hair done in French curls. Bet'cha she ends up taller than Alan. Terri -- crepe dress. she'll look good.
Workshop Friday - maybe. Can't wait!!
P.S. I'm gonna have a long day Saturday. Hair appt. in the morning, Driver's Ed all afternoon, then the dance. WOW. Really!
I'm getting worried -- like I'm flunking algebra. Gotta think positive think positive think positive! Harry & Barbara -- pftt! I wonder what the Soph Party will be like as far as they're concerned. Uh oh -- gotta be careful. I'm getting dangerously depressed again. Oh yeah - I think that the office might be suspecting that those 2 fires were a bit fishy. After all, there hasn't been a fire in Woodlawn for 5 years and suddenly we have 2 in a period of 3 days.
National & World Affairs - Hoffa began his 8 year jail sentence today for jury tampering. It's about time! Adam Clayton Powell was refused his seat in Congress -- good! Drafting for the war now is a fine mess -- now in 2 years they're putting into effect a plan that will grab 19 year olds by LOTTERY! My God -- in time there'll be no more boys left in the USA!!
March 8th
Hiya! Stayed home today to make sure. Also maybe to get out of an algebra test? No, not really. Terri and me talked the dial off the phone. She's home with a cold. Today is Mickey's birthday!
I am still approaching depression. in one word -- algebra. I lied to Mom and Dad about my average, which was really tuff to do. I'm so worried about the summer! I know that most of it is my fault, 'cause I'm in a dumb class. I guess I just don't try. but have you ever tried to listen to Walters? You just can't stay awake! Yes, I got out of a test today, but that's not why I stayed home. I've just gotta be alright for Saturday.
About this Saturday: Ronni is going. Is that funny or is that funny? Abby got her a clind date, as well as a couple of million other people. Terri tells me she's so excited -- first date and all. Gosh, I wonder what the boy'll say when he sees her! Get this -- she wants to wear a real bright tent dress! She'll look like a balloon. You know, if the boy is crazy enough to try something, she'd probably go along with it, she's so desperate. You can usually tell about the outcome of a blind date by watching them slow dance. Hah! I bet'cha what's-his-face won't be able to get close enough to Ronni to dance with her. Honestly, I'm not trying to put Ronni down that bad, it's just that I feel like in a way, I'll be sort of superior, ya know? Anyway, I'm so glad she's going instead of sitting at home by herself. That's rough, I know.
I'm pretty sure they won't, but I'll just die if the twins are there. Terri tells me that Terry might show up, and if Speedy's there -- ACK!
Of all the embarrasing entries I wrote, this one makes me feel really bad. I know that teenage girls can be very unkind, but even if this was just in my thoughts, it's still upsetting to me now. However, it certainly gives me insight into how we can be tempted to put someone else down in order to make ourselves feel better.
March 9th
Good show on Stage '67 -- "Trilogy: The American Boy" - presh! "Skaterdater" was the best. There was an adorable boy (here I go cradle-snatching again!). But guess what I did? I threw out my LBO! Oh, Sunny!!
PHIL IS A BUM. I went up with Judi to get milk and the twins and friends were sitting right in front of the milk thing. I don't know why but they started laughing at me. I felt embarrassed and horrible. When I went back to sit down, I lost my appetite. It's funny -- I felt worse about being laughed at than the fact that Phil and Doug were there. Oh well, that ends that. Now they'll be for "twin looks" only.
Sophomore Dance Time again - I hope I'm dressed OK. In a way I don't care, but in a way I do. It's hard to explain, but I'm not worried. Nope. More couples: Margie & Gary, Chuck Smith & ?, Gerri & Ralph O'Connell (?), Abby & Neal. Anyways, I saw the list and it's pretty darn long. Tonight Linda asked me if I liked Danny or not, but something happened and I didn't have to answer. She knows anyhow. Everything with her is Jeff Jeff Jeff. Personally I think he's a big, fat 0.
I got a Mamas & Papas album. It's great. My fav song is "My Heart Stood Still". I'm also crazy about "Dedicated to the One I Love", their new single, and the Turtles new song. I LUV MICKEY DOLENZ! I die for that boy, just die. He is so tough. Beautiful. I LUV HIM!! I dreamt about him in color last night. Millie left today. It was sad. Judi and me bought her a stuffed "Prisoner of Love" and nick-named it URP. We also gave her a Queers Row card. That reminds me. I have to get Linda a Slurp for her birthday yesterday.
Danny and me aren't doubling and Sue Tucker might have mono. She still thinks Mike is Danny, and she's back with Del. Steve J and Sue might not go to the party 'cause of transportation problems. I wish Saturday would get here already. I hate this waiting. 'Sides I wonder if my hair'll turn out and then there's always Driver's Ed. Oh brother.
March 10th
FOOEY. I have to wait a whole month to get that plate back from the orthodontist's, meaning I'll be a month behind, meaning I won't get my braces off in time for the trip. Hell.
Flunked a typing test, I think. I might as well give up. And I made an ass of myself in front of McGovern this morning. So what else is new. Queer's Row is going completely out of its mind -- honest! Voice now has his tie tucked in even higher, and Flower got his petals trimmed. Speaking of Flower, he was in top form today, wearing that good ol' shirt and his paper towel pants. Killer was enchanting, too, doing his eye exercises and staring into space with his fingers in his ears. ILL and UG are BAD -- yechh! The Glum Bum Brothers. They still look good, but...forget it. (I think...)
Last period Waslters was absent and we had a ball. Sue was hysterical with these dirty jokes. I mean, she's so...well, open. It was a riot. I started calling Ann's Alan Dickhoff (really??) "Tubby". I finally figure out why she's going steady with him -- so's she can get to the Senior Prom! Clever... The Monroes, Wednesday, was the best ever. (Here we go again, group.) I die for those twins. Barbara calls me and Terri cradle-snatchers 'cause they're only 13, but they're precious! Real long hair, mmnnn...
Kirby Scott was pretty good too, 'cepting it wasn't as crowded. The lead singer of the Buckinghams is cute and they had a tape of Gary & the Hornets (the group with the 6 year old drummer). Jackie and Alan finally lost the dance contest to a Negro couple (good!) but I'm sad in a way 'cause I like the way Alan dances. Their go-go dancers are excellent. Randi Levin is one -- still with that long hair.
Well -- I'm gonna be a bit under-dressed tomorrow night but it doesn't bother me 'cause I figure it's all in the way you look at it. Right? Right? YEAH. I LUV MICKEY DOLENZ!!
March 11th
Damn it. I'm so upset. It's 12:15 and where am I? Home, that's where. Why? 'Cause Danny's sick. I can't get this stupid ringing out of my ears. Shit. I feel bad.
I don't blame Danny, really. After all, he did try, but it only made me feel worse to see him dancing, knowing how bad he felt. The worst part is, though, that everybody else, including Ronni, Linda, Barb, Ann, Terri, etc. had a great time and will be talking about it for the next 60 years. And I'll have to start lying again. Terri's date, Jay, is a doll and she'll probably start going with him. Ya know what I wish? I wish that I could go out with a boy I really like and not have to pretend. That'd be so beautiful. Terry was there -- he looked as precious as ever. So was Chuck, in boots, and Bob who looked miserable (but still tough).
Right now I'm sort of in a numb shock of depression everytime I think of what I have to tell everybody. I wish I could cry but nothing will come yet.
March 12th
Well, the dam broke. I have never gone into such a fit of hysterics as I did this morning. Really, I was completely uncontrollable. Never have I felt so depressed. First of all, I was convinced that the whole world was against me and that everything that happened was unfair. On top of that, Dad made me go to Sunday School which made me positively sure that no one understood or cared about the way I felt. Then I talked to Mom, who, as much as I didn't want to, made me stop feeling so sorry for myself. She made me understand about Dad and the way he was feeling, which of course made me start crying again, this time about him. Ya know, you can never hate anyone when you understand them and know what makes them tick. After that, I listened to My Heart Stood Still which cheered me up and made me realize that I'm never gonna be one to try and always run away from things.
About the dance: Well, never build up your hopes too high about things like that and always be prepared for little disappointments. After all, "No one ever promised me a rose garden" [courtesy of Mom]. The band: Excellent drummer, good singer and musicians, but pretty bad to dance to. Not enough soul music. The singer did do "Please, Please, Please" and "Summertime" good, though. Decorations: Not too bad, but seemed rather amateurish and could have been better planned. The lighting was wrong -- it was set up such a way that it created a kind of dim glare and it was hard to see across the room. As a matter of fact, the whole affair seemed like a feeble and futile attempt to imitate the Junior and Senior Proms.
As for the Dress: I have to admit that the majority of the kids really looked excellent. Sue Edwards, for one, was very pretty. So were Ann's friend, Debbie, and Terry's date, Sharon. Ann looked cute and Linda looked pretty good too. There were a lot of semi-formals and corsages, but I felt comfortable. Mostly there were sophomore girls with junior or senior boys. Ya know, at least I'm glad that I was seen there. Ann and Alan were a little high, and Ronnie asked Debbie to go steady. Terri's Jay and me were really knocking each other, Linda luvs Jeff, and I've never danced so hard in my life. Well, that about sums it up. Hardly an Affair to Remember. I think the 9th Grade Dance was better, but this taught me something. Exactly what, I can't put my finger on, but I know it's there. Just give me time.
This past Saturday, Terri saw Neal and Lee at Stewarts ( of all people!). She said that they looked better than ever -- taller, hair even longer (goody!). They were shopping with their mother and were wearing sports jackets. Mickey was the Monkee star in last week's episode. Only one kiss.
I haven't been feeling exactly up to par lately. I don't know what it is -- headache, tired, you know. I doubt if it's mono. Right now I feel kind of discouraged and depressed. Think I'll hit the sack.
"Ya know, you can never hate anyone when you understand them and know what makes them tick. I listened to My Heart Stood Still which cheered me up and made me realize that I'm never gonna be one to try and run away from things...This taught me something. Exactly what, I can't put my finger on, but I know it's there. Just give me time..." Now these observations make me proud. I was actively Becoming Me.
March 13th
I think everybody's been hitting a low lately. We're all tired and depressed. Maybe it's the weather, who knows. Anyway, school's been getting me down -- I'm so gosh darn lazy.
Stayed after for a biology test today. Miss Marck left me alone, on my honor, while she went to a meeting and I didn't even take a peek at my notes. Very good, Sunny! I asked Ann if she kept a diary and she said no, but if she did it would probably be censored. Ya know, I believe it! After Saturday night (by the way, she got home at 3:30) and what Ronni told me about Alan in her class, I wouldn't put a thing past her. A lot of kids were sick Saturday might so something must be going around. Sue Edwards was absent today. Peter Tork is precious.
My propensity for procrastination really did make me miserable. I wish there had been someone to tell me that it didn't have to be this way.
March 14th
Well, spring is here. What's the first sign? The kids congregating on the porch and the picking of the first leaf. Yeah -- felt like old times this afternoon! Warm weather brought everybody out. When I got my hair done Saturday I also got it cut. It looks great and everybody likes it! Even Mom! Shock. Disbelief. Only thing is, I haven't washed it out since Barry set it. Uh oh?
My mother was way too focused on my hair. Her attitude was responsible for a lot of arguments and contributed to my confusion about the "acceptability" of my appearance.
March 15th
Hullo dere! Boy it's icky out and guess where I have to go -- Confirmation, of course. What fun. Last night it rained so hard that I though we were being bombed! Really, I was petrified. The hailstones must've been gigantic!
I really should hand in my transcription notebook, but why dwell on unpleasant subjects. Today, last year, I flunked an algebra test. Let's hope that second period this morning wasn't a repeat performance. Actually, all I want out of this year is a C, if I can pull that off. I don't hate Brian Lurie anymore. I knew I'd stop when he started paying attention to me. You know, I'm disgusting!
Phil baby -- luv him again! But, of course, now I know what it is about him I like. It's sure not his personality, I'll tell you that. Oh, you know, things like his smile and...and...well, when he handed me a book, his hand brushed mine and I got the biggest electric shock I've ever felt. I finally got the chance, and enough nerve, to give him that dog personality psychology test. You'll never guess what it said. Quote, "You have a secret need for love." I almost choked! And "My Heart Stood Still".
Confirmation wasn't half bad! I even learned something! Ya know, I never knew why God stopped "speaking " to people. Well, it's because the age of prophecy is over and now that He's told us everything we need to know to live a good life, it's up to us.
From the website page on the class of '69, I found out that Phil was killed in the Iraqi War in the '90s. Damn.
March 16th
Everybody got their algebra tests back 'cept me and Terri. Man, you should've seen those grades -- 20s, 30s. If I flunk this, I'm gonna get [Barbara] Euler to sign my deficiency. I'll be damned if I'm gonna bring it home.
GUESS WHAT?!! PHIL TALKED TO ME. ME! Listen -- Me and Judi were getting milk. We were walking away from the cash register, past Phil's table, when somebody calls out, "Hey, Sunny!" You should've seen me spin around! I walked back and leaned across the table. "Did you do the history?" I told him no, that I was planning to ask him. Gol...ly -- I don't know how I managed to walk back to our table without jumping up and down. I was so excited, you wouldn't believe it! I lost my appetite again. Well, I'm making progress. It only took 6 months.
In history I gave him the Water and Wall psychological test. Get this -- he walked around the water! Poor, sexless Phil. Judi and me code him as P.D., short for Pill Dickles. Today we have a movie, but ya never know. I might ask him something at his locker this morning if I get up enough nerve. You know, he didn't really want that history. Remember Matt Mayer?
Yeah, I think he really did want the history homework. ;-)
March 17th
Faith and begorra! It's one of the little people! Yup -- ol' St. Patrick's Day. And boy, I saw plenty of the wearin' o' the green too. So this is Sunny O'Plaine signing out! (Don't mind me...)
March 18th
Happy Saturday! Would you believe I slept 12 hours last night? I think I was kinda tired. Down with Air Pollution!
Okey dokey. Well, let's see...Oh yeah! We have a new addition to Queer's Row! THE MUMMY. Judi writes me this note in history -- "Sunny, the kid sitting between Flower and Voice is dead. He hasn't moved all year." Which is true! Thus, we now have Killer, Flower, The Mummy, Voice and Head. Right now it's 10:30 in the morning and even though it's freezing out, it kinda feels like spring. The bushes are budding, the flowers are coming out (ain't I poetic!) and even the grass on the bare spots out back is growing in. Spring -- ah.
You know, the Trosches are moving. Yeah, I'm really sad. Me -- I hate to see things change. Gosh, I might even cry. Really, just thinkin' back, this neighborhood and all, it just won't be the same somehow with them gone. I'm gonna miss them, but more than that, they represent THE CHANGE. I wish things could stay the way they are. *Sob*.
Jeff & Linda Jeff & Linda Jeff & Linda. Oy vey. Anyways -- he's Jewish, which is more than I can say for P.D. Oh well, I love him anyway. We saw a movie in room 309 yesterday. Speedy was in there and did he look tough. He was stretched out across these desks and...you know. Little Kurt's bigger than me! Honest! I was so shocked. He looks like Opie on Andy Griffith but his name is Steve! Remember Stephanie McGuire? Well, she's a dope pusher and dope addict. She's run away from home and had the cops after her. Linda Waldorf's seen her smoking reefers. Yuck. Jim Peters & Candy. Elaine and Betty Brown are dolls.
Mostly a do-nothing day. there's supposed to be a good show on tomorrow night called "Murray the K at Shea, Baby". It sounds excellent -- James Brown, Miracles, Martha & the Vandellas. The Turtles are on The Smothers Brothers tomorrow.
I remember that the air pollution project was one big-ass assignment. it took for-ever...I also wish that somebody back then could have enlightened me as to the nature of "change"; that that's all there is, and it's your reaction to life's changes and challenges that measures your success.
March 19th
Monkees -- Davy's precious as usual. I saw him on a commercial for the show the other guys -- LUV HIM! Third part of "Atta Girl, Kelly" was great. Confirmation class and me went to Palm Sunday services at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen. It was beautiful, let me tell ya, but so different -- the atmosphere and all. I'll tell ya more about it tomorrow.
March 20th
Phil Pill Putterpill, Pill Dickles -- I LUVS HIM AGAIN!! Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil...
Problems, group -- algebra. I'm like flunkin' and I'm worried. I've got a 44 average with only about 2 weeks to go in the term. My problem is that I can't concentrate. It's sort of like the opposite of what I expected in this class; it's so dumb that I thought I'd be the top guy. Well, it didn't turn out like that. I think what's wrong is that I went from one extreme to the other and this class is so stupid that I'm like bored to tears and so I don't concentrate. Of course, the BIG THING in mind is THE TRIP, but what I'm pullin' for now is not to flunk this term. Hell -- what a mess I've gotten myself into. I must have no will power at all. Well, I'm going to talk to Walters tomorrow. She knows I can't concentrate but other than that it's like talking to a computer. You know, 9 times out of 10 I can talk myself right around teachers but this time I wonder if I've met my Waterloo. I told Mom -- she's convinced that it's a repeat of last year and that I'll end up in summer school, but Terri, Karen and Ann keep tellin' me not to worry.
March 21st
Talked to dear old luvable sweet Walters. I never got a chance to get at the human angle -- for 20 minutes she told me how I had messed up the test so beautifully. Guess who better start concentrating.
I was just thinking..I've got my first Righteous Brothers album on and boy does it remind me of summer. Old summers to be more specific. Gosh, it even hurts to think about it. I wish, just sometimes when things get you down, that you could turn back the clock for awhile. Ya know somethin'? I'm more mixed up now than I've ever been. Maybe I think about myself too much. Anyway, Im beginning to get the impression that I'm a no good no-good. I wish that somebody would come along that would make me feel like I'm good again -- needed.
March 22nd
This day was one horrible, yucky waste. For one thing, get this, Judi was absent. Now just why was she absent? Try because she was rushed off the bus to the hospital in an ambulance. My eyeballs nearly fell out when Leslie told me. On top of that, Phil was absent. The nerve of that guy! I was ready to turn around and go right back home again! Anyway, about Judi, seems that she dislocated her kneecap when she sat down, and it killed her something terrible. Luckily, it happened near her house, and the driver ran back there and called an ambulance. When it got to the bus, the guys had to get her knee back in place 'cause she couldn't walk. Man that must've hurt. So they took her to Sinai and now she's on crutches and laid up for part of the vacation. Well, anything to make life more exciting.
This morning, while walking down the street to the bus-stop, I thought I heard something strange but I couldn't be sure because we were walking by a car with the motor running. Then Linda said, "It's Indians!" I looked up and saw what I thought was a bunch of gulls. but suddenly the noise they were making became clearer and I recognized it as honking. It was a flock of geese, flying in formation right above us! It was the neatest thing, but of course nobody would believe me when I told them in school. Well, after all, how many geese have you ever seen flying over Baltimore? (Remember the time I was convinced that Danti's had been robbed?)
Tomorrow we get out! Wahoo!! It's funny, but I wish the term were longer so's I could pull up algebra, and French. Yeah, my test grades in there are averaging out to a C.
It seems hard to believe that there wasn't a time when geese weren't everywhere, but apparently not in Baltimore in 1967.
March 23rd
T.G.W.O. (Thank God we're Out!)
P.S. I don't like Phil anymore.
March 24th
Slept over Terri's tonight. Saw part of "Lilies of the Field". Terri might join BBG -- luverly. Oh well. Tomorrow we're seeing Dr. Zhivago after bowling. I haven't seen a movie in ages.
March 25th
Saw Dr. Zhivago. Photography was excellent but the characterization wasn't that hot. Before bowling I rode around with Terri while she practiced parking at Sudbrook. She may take her test next week. Is that great or is that great?
I remember the incredible excitement of having the first of our group get her driver's license.
March 26th
Easter Sunday and fine weather. I sort of just hung around though. Karen came over during the evening. She's been doin' good, goin' out lately. Mardi Gras is tomorrow. I bet'cha The Miracles don't show up.
Mardi Gras was the Spring Dance at Milford. For some reason they expected Smokey Robinson and the Miracles to be the band.
March 27th
Kurt Baby was on "The Road West" tonight. Luv him! Went to the dentist in the afternoon (yuck -- 2 cavities) and shopping. Holy Cow -- I need so much stuff for the trip you wouldn't believe it. But everything's gotta fit, look good and also be portable.
March 28th
Man, am I dead! I had a body wave down at Cross Keys and it took 4 hours. Patrick cut and shaped my hair as well, so it's a bit short but at least it has a line to follow when it grows.
March 31st
Spring Cleaning today and me with a broken back. Cute. GUESS WHAT? I wrote a letter to Kurt Russell! And actually mailed it, believe it or not. Boy, just wait until I show his letter to the peasants at school (when I get an answer in maybe 6 years).
Memoranda
Well, looks like this was Twin Month last year. This time the results are kinda different -- me no like no more at the moment. I'm looking for quintuplets. No, really, they're out for now but who knows what can happen!
Lists
Favorites:
Colors - bright oranges and yellows, bright shades of blue and light green, soft pinks
Cars - cycles
Boys - Phil and Doug Edwards, Randy Furr, Gary, Steve Dorf, Danny Winn, Little Kurt
TV Shows - Jack Paar specials
Hobbies - boys, records and singing groups, actors, playing uke and piano, learning to play lacrosse
Actors - Omar Shariff, Keith and Kevin Shultz, Sammy Davis
Boys' names - Kevin, Brad, Scott, Phil, Jeff, Denny, Randy, Terry, Davy, Sandy
Girls' names - Kerry, Kim, Stacy, Becky, Jackie, Pepper
Foods - sweet pickles, cold chicken and cole slaw, egg nog-flavored Instant Breakfast
Dislikes:
Foods - brown sugar Pop Tarts, too salty lox, soft scrambled eggs
Colors - orange-ish red
Hey Ma, guess what? Woodlawn was on fire today -- really! We had 8 fire engines and the school smelled horrible! The fire was confined to the boiler room, I think, but until they knew the full extent of the thing, they had to keep us outside. Man, did we freeze! End Part I. Part II -- I asked him!! Danny! After that dream, I had my doubts. Only worry now is about clothes and hair appointment.
March 2nd
OH BOY! Terri thinks she's comin' to the Soph Party. It's gonna be excellent. Only thing is -- if Sue T. comes I'm gonna have a bit-o-trouble explaining about Danny.
March 3rd
Jim Peters was on Kirby Scott (I think). So was Seale Shannon, in case you're interested. Guess what? Judi and me are gonna write a book about life at Woodlawn. It'll be so funny -- if we ever finish.
Or ever start. ;-)
March 4th
Well, it happened. I was always afraid that Sally would date before me 'cause of my "image", you know, but now that it's happened I'm not really upset. Ya wanna know why? 'Cause I know that I'm really happier than she is -- my group of friends and all. And, in time, I'll go out, too, and with great guys, not schlemiels. Sometimes you just have to wait longer for the best, right?
I really didn't remember that I was this competitive with Sally, for so long. And it's interesting to see my efforts at rationalization...
March 5th
Jeff and Dad went to the circus this afternoon and Danny came over. It was so funny -- we worked on this problem for ages, trying to get what I told him was the right answer. But then he discovered that I had looked at the answers for the wrong section and he had been right the whole time! I was scared that he was gonna kill me. But he didn't.
March 6th
Home sick today. Honest -- I really felt lousy this time. I hear the school was on fire again today. Cute. Boy, I'm glad I wasn't there to stand out in the rain. Walters wasn't there, thank God, but either was Terri and I didn't know it. Gosh darn. I've been hearin' an awful lot about UFOs lately. Remind me to tell you about yesterday's Chizuk Brotherhood breakfast.
Telling your diary to remind you of things is not very effective.
March 7th
Jeff's birthday today. I went to school (for the heck of it?) in the muck and rain. Man, there were floods everywhere. It's been rainin' for 3 days!! Anyways, I got sent home again. Sick.
You know, those urges and moods I've been getting lately seem to be coming on pretty strong. The latest -- making out with Mickey Dolenz. Oh well. Last night I had a little depression -- felt sorry for myself and all. Jeff was doin' an exceptionally good job of irritating me. So I cried from 9 to 9:30 and then went in to watch "Mark Twain Tonight". FANTASTIC! He was marvelous -- cynical, humorous, just wild. You name it, he knocked it. Some day I'd like to do a study on him.
Sophomore Dance Time --
Dates - Me & Danny, Terri & Jay, Linda & Jeff, Barbara & Harry, Ann & Alan, Marlene Jacobs & Jay (?), Sue McLaughlin & Steve, Sue Edwards & Kelby, Ellen & Steve, Debbie & Ronnie Mansur
Decorations - Ann tells me they're real bad, and I had told everyone to expect something spectacular. My golly -- the decorations are practically everything. They'd better be good!
Attendance - Some say crowded, some say not. I'm inclined to agree with those who predict a not-too-large turnout. Maybe I'm just pessimistic after the decorations report. I sure hope it's not a repeat of the Junior It.
Dress - Me -- blue dress with white vertical stripes, white collar and front buttons. Looks better than it sounds. Also, sling-backs. Ann -- Now get this! White rabbit pocketbook, gloves -- oh brother! She's even getting her hair done in French curls. Bet'cha she ends up taller than Alan. Terri -- crepe dress. she'll look good.
Workshop Friday - maybe. Can't wait!!
P.S. I'm gonna have a long day Saturday. Hair appt. in the morning, Driver's Ed all afternoon, then the dance. WOW. Really!
I'm getting worried -- like I'm flunking algebra. Gotta think positive think positive think positive! Harry & Barbara -- pftt! I wonder what the Soph Party will be like as far as they're concerned. Uh oh -- gotta be careful. I'm getting dangerously depressed again. Oh yeah - I think that the office might be suspecting that those 2 fires were a bit fishy. After all, there hasn't been a fire in Woodlawn for 5 years and suddenly we have 2 in a period of 3 days.
National & World Affairs - Hoffa began his 8 year jail sentence today for jury tampering. It's about time! Adam Clayton Powell was refused his seat in Congress -- good! Drafting for the war now is a fine mess -- now in 2 years they're putting into effect a plan that will grab 19 year olds by LOTTERY! My God -- in time there'll be no more boys left in the USA!!
March 8th
Hiya! Stayed home today to make sure. Also maybe to get out of an algebra test? No, not really. Terri and me talked the dial off the phone. She's home with a cold. Today is Mickey's birthday!
I am still approaching depression. in one word -- algebra. I lied to Mom and Dad about my average, which was really tuff to do. I'm so worried about the summer! I know that most of it is my fault, 'cause I'm in a dumb class. I guess I just don't try. but have you ever tried to listen to Walters? You just can't stay awake! Yes, I got out of a test today, but that's not why I stayed home. I've just gotta be alright for Saturday.
About this Saturday: Ronni is going. Is that funny or is that funny? Abby got her a clind date, as well as a couple of million other people. Terri tells me she's so excited -- first date and all. Gosh, I wonder what the boy'll say when he sees her! Get this -- she wants to wear a real bright tent dress! She'll look like a balloon. You know, if the boy is crazy enough to try something, she'd probably go along with it, she's so desperate. You can usually tell about the outcome of a blind date by watching them slow dance. Hah! I bet'cha what's-his-face won't be able to get close enough to Ronni to dance with her. Honestly, I'm not trying to put Ronni down that bad, it's just that I feel like in a way, I'll be sort of superior, ya know? Anyway, I'm so glad she's going instead of sitting at home by herself. That's rough, I know.
I'm pretty sure they won't, but I'll just die if the twins are there. Terri tells me that Terry might show up, and if Speedy's there -- ACK!
Of all the embarrasing entries I wrote, this one makes me feel really bad. I know that teenage girls can be very unkind, but even if this was just in my thoughts, it's still upsetting to me now. However, it certainly gives me insight into how we can be tempted to put someone else down in order to make ourselves feel better.
March 9th
Good show on Stage '67 -- "Trilogy: The American Boy" - presh! "Skaterdater" was the best. There was an adorable boy (here I go cradle-snatching again!). But guess what I did? I threw out my LBO! Oh, Sunny!!
PHIL IS A BUM. I went up with Judi to get milk and the twins and friends were sitting right in front of the milk thing. I don't know why but they started laughing at me. I felt embarrassed and horrible. When I went back to sit down, I lost my appetite. It's funny -- I felt worse about being laughed at than the fact that Phil and Doug were there. Oh well, that ends that. Now they'll be for "twin looks" only.
Sophomore Dance Time again - I hope I'm dressed OK. In a way I don't care, but in a way I do. It's hard to explain, but I'm not worried. Nope. More couples: Margie & Gary, Chuck Smith & ?, Gerri & Ralph O'Connell (?), Abby & Neal. Anyways, I saw the list and it's pretty darn long. Tonight Linda asked me if I liked Danny or not, but something happened and I didn't have to answer. She knows anyhow. Everything with her is Jeff Jeff Jeff. Personally I think he's a big, fat 0.
I got a Mamas & Papas album. It's great. My fav song is "My Heart Stood Still". I'm also crazy about "Dedicated to the One I Love", their new single, and the Turtles new song. I LUV MICKEY DOLENZ! I die for that boy, just die. He is so tough. Beautiful. I LUV HIM!! I dreamt about him in color last night. Millie left today. It was sad. Judi and me bought her a stuffed "Prisoner of Love" and nick-named it URP. We also gave her a Queers Row card. That reminds me. I have to get Linda a Slurp for her birthday yesterday.
Danny and me aren't doubling and Sue Tucker might have mono. She still thinks Mike is Danny, and she's back with Del. Steve J and Sue might not go to the party 'cause of transportation problems. I wish Saturday would get here already. I hate this waiting. 'Sides I wonder if my hair'll turn out and then there's always Driver's Ed. Oh brother.
March 10th
FOOEY. I have to wait a whole month to get that plate back from the orthodontist's, meaning I'll be a month behind, meaning I won't get my braces off in time for the trip. Hell.
Flunked a typing test, I think. I might as well give up. And I made an ass of myself in front of McGovern this morning. So what else is new. Queer's Row is going completely out of its mind -- honest! Voice now has his tie tucked in even higher, and Flower got his petals trimmed. Speaking of Flower, he was in top form today, wearing that good ol' shirt and his paper towel pants. Killer was enchanting, too, doing his eye exercises and staring into space with his fingers in his ears. ILL and UG are BAD -- yechh! The Glum Bum Brothers. They still look good, but...forget it. (I think...)
Last period Waslters was absent and we had a ball. Sue was hysterical with these dirty jokes. I mean, she's so...well, open. It was a riot. I started calling Ann's Alan Dickhoff (really??) "Tubby". I finally figure out why she's going steady with him -- so's she can get to the Senior Prom! Clever... The Monroes, Wednesday, was the best ever. (Here we go again, group.) I die for those twins. Barbara calls me and Terri cradle-snatchers 'cause they're only 13, but they're precious! Real long hair, mmnnn...
Kirby Scott was pretty good too, 'cepting it wasn't as crowded. The lead singer of the Buckinghams is cute and they had a tape of Gary & the Hornets (the group with the 6 year old drummer). Jackie and Alan finally lost the dance contest to a Negro couple (good!) but I'm sad in a way 'cause I like the way Alan dances. Their go-go dancers are excellent. Randi Levin is one -- still with that long hair.
Well -- I'm gonna be a bit under-dressed tomorrow night but it doesn't bother me 'cause I figure it's all in the way you look at it. Right? Right? YEAH. I LUV MICKEY DOLENZ!!
March 11th
Damn it. I'm so upset. It's 12:15 and where am I? Home, that's where. Why? 'Cause Danny's sick. I can't get this stupid ringing out of my ears. Shit. I feel bad.
I don't blame Danny, really. After all, he did try, but it only made me feel worse to see him dancing, knowing how bad he felt. The worst part is, though, that everybody else, including Ronni, Linda, Barb, Ann, Terri, etc. had a great time and will be talking about it for the next 60 years. And I'll have to start lying again. Terri's date, Jay, is a doll and she'll probably start going with him. Ya know what I wish? I wish that I could go out with a boy I really like and not have to pretend. That'd be so beautiful. Terry was there -- he looked as precious as ever. So was Chuck, in boots, and Bob who looked miserable (but still tough).
Right now I'm sort of in a numb shock of depression everytime I think of what I have to tell everybody. I wish I could cry but nothing will come yet.
March 12th
Well, the dam broke. I have never gone into such a fit of hysterics as I did this morning. Really, I was completely uncontrollable. Never have I felt so depressed. First of all, I was convinced that the whole world was against me and that everything that happened was unfair. On top of that, Dad made me go to Sunday School which made me positively sure that no one understood or cared about the way I felt. Then I talked to Mom, who, as much as I didn't want to, made me stop feeling so sorry for myself. She made me understand about Dad and the way he was feeling, which of course made me start crying again, this time about him. Ya know, you can never hate anyone when you understand them and know what makes them tick. After that, I listened to My Heart Stood Still which cheered me up and made me realize that I'm never gonna be one to try and always run away from things.
About the dance: Well, never build up your hopes too high about things like that and always be prepared for little disappointments. After all, "No one ever promised me a rose garden" [courtesy of Mom]. The band: Excellent drummer, good singer and musicians, but pretty bad to dance to. Not enough soul music. The singer did do "Please, Please, Please" and "Summertime" good, though. Decorations: Not too bad, but seemed rather amateurish and could have been better planned. The lighting was wrong -- it was set up such a way that it created a kind of dim glare and it was hard to see across the room. As a matter of fact, the whole affair seemed like a feeble and futile attempt to imitate the Junior and Senior Proms.
As for the Dress: I have to admit that the majority of the kids really looked excellent. Sue Edwards, for one, was very pretty. So were Ann's friend, Debbie, and Terry's date, Sharon. Ann looked cute and Linda looked pretty good too. There were a lot of semi-formals and corsages, but I felt comfortable. Mostly there were sophomore girls with junior or senior boys. Ya know, at least I'm glad that I was seen there. Ann and Alan were a little high, and Ronnie asked Debbie to go steady. Terri's Jay and me were really knocking each other, Linda luvs Jeff, and I've never danced so hard in my life. Well, that about sums it up. Hardly an Affair to Remember. I think the 9th Grade Dance was better, but this taught me something. Exactly what, I can't put my finger on, but I know it's there. Just give me time.
This past Saturday, Terri saw Neal and Lee at Stewarts ( of all people!). She said that they looked better than ever -- taller, hair even longer (goody!). They were shopping with their mother and were wearing sports jackets. Mickey was the Monkee star in last week's episode. Only one kiss.
I haven't been feeling exactly up to par lately. I don't know what it is -- headache, tired, you know. I doubt if it's mono. Right now I feel kind of discouraged and depressed. Think I'll hit the sack.
"Ya know, you can never hate anyone when you understand them and know what makes them tick. I listened to My Heart Stood Still which cheered me up and made me realize that I'm never gonna be one to try and run away from things...This taught me something. Exactly what, I can't put my finger on, but I know it's there. Just give me time..." Now these observations make me proud. I was actively Becoming Me.
March 13th
I think everybody's been hitting a low lately. We're all tired and depressed. Maybe it's the weather, who knows. Anyway, school's been getting me down -- I'm so gosh darn lazy.
Stayed after for a biology test today. Miss Marck left me alone, on my honor, while she went to a meeting and I didn't even take a peek at my notes. Very good, Sunny! I asked Ann if she kept a diary and she said no, but if she did it would probably be censored. Ya know, I believe it! After Saturday night (by the way, she got home at 3:30) and what Ronni told me about Alan in her class, I wouldn't put a thing past her. A lot of kids were sick Saturday might so something must be going around. Sue Edwards was absent today. Peter Tork is precious.
My propensity for procrastination really did make me miserable. I wish there had been someone to tell me that it didn't have to be this way.
March 14th
Well, spring is here. What's the first sign? The kids congregating on the porch and the picking of the first leaf. Yeah -- felt like old times this afternoon! Warm weather brought everybody out. When I got my hair done Saturday I also got it cut. It looks great and everybody likes it! Even Mom! Shock. Disbelief. Only thing is, I haven't washed it out since Barry set it. Uh oh?
My mother was way too focused on my hair. Her attitude was responsible for a lot of arguments and contributed to my confusion about the "acceptability" of my appearance.
March 15th
Hullo dere! Boy it's icky out and guess where I have to go -- Confirmation, of course. What fun. Last night it rained so hard that I though we were being bombed! Really, I was petrified. The hailstones must've been gigantic!
I really should hand in my transcription notebook, but why dwell on unpleasant subjects. Today, last year, I flunked an algebra test. Let's hope that second period this morning wasn't a repeat performance. Actually, all I want out of this year is a C, if I can pull that off. I don't hate Brian Lurie anymore. I knew I'd stop when he started paying attention to me. You know, I'm disgusting!
Phil baby -- luv him again! But, of course, now I know what it is about him I like. It's sure not his personality, I'll tell you that. Oh, you know, things like his smile and...and...well, when he handed me a book, his hand brushed mine and I got the biggest electric shock I've ever felt. I finally got the chance, and enough nerve, to give him that dog personality psychology test. You'll never guess what it said. Quote, "You have a secret need for love." I almost choked! And "My Heart Stood Still".
Confirmation wasn't half bad! I even learned something! Ya know, I never knew why God stopped "speaking " to people. Well, it's because the age of prophecy is over and now that He's told us everything we need to know to live a good life, it's up to us.
From the website page on the class of '69, I found out that Phil was killed in the Iraqi War in the '90s. Damn.
March 16th
Everybody got their algebra tests back 'cept me and Terri. Man, you should've seen those grades -- 20s, 30s. If I flunk this, I'm gonna get [Barbara] Euler to sign my deficiency. I'll be damned if I'm gonna bring it home.
GUESS WHAT?!! PHIL TALKED TO ME. ME! Listen -- Me and Judi were getting milk. We were walking away from the cash register, past Phil's table, when somebody calls out, "Hey, Sunny!" You should've seen me spin around! I walked back and leaned across the table. "Did you do the history?" I told him no, that I was planning to ask him. Gol...ly -- I don't know how I managed to walk back to our table without jumping up and down. I was so excited, you wouldn't believe it! I lost my appetite again. Well, I'm making progress. It only took 6 months.
In history I gave him the Water and Wall psychological test. Get this -- he walked around the water! Poor, sexless Phil. Judi and me code him as P.D., short for Pill Dickles. Today we have a movie, but ya never know. I might ask him something at his locker this morning if I get up enough nerve. You know, he didn't really want that history. Remember Matt Mayer?
Yeah, I think he really did want the history homework. ;-)
March 17th
Faith and begorra! It's one of the little people! Yup -- ol' St. Patrick's Day. And boy, I saw plenty of the wearin' o' the green too. So this is Sunny O'Plaine signing out! (Don't mind me...)
March 18th
Happy Saturday! Would you believe I slept 12 hours last night? I think I was kinda tired. Down with Air Pollution!
Okey dokey. Well, let's see...Oh yeah! We have a new addition to Queer's Row! THE MUMMY. Judi writes me this note in history -- "Sunny, the kid sitting between Flower and Voice is dead. He hasn't moved all year." Which is true! Thus, we now have Killer, Flower, The Mummy, Voice and Head. Right now it's 10:30 in the morning and even though it's freezing out, it kinda feels like spring. The bushes are budding, the flowers are coming out (ain't I poetic!) and even the grass on the bare spots out back is growing in. Spring -- ah.
You know, the Trosches are moving. Yeah, I'm really sad. Me -- I hate to see things change. Gosh, I might even cry. Really, just thinkin' back, this neighborhood and all, it just won't be the same somehow with them gone. I'm gonna miss them, but more than that, they represent THE CHANGE. I wish things could stay the way they are. *Sob*.
Jeff & Linda Jeff & Linda Jeff & Linda. Oy vey. Anyways -- he's Jewish, which is more than I can say for P.D. Oh well, I love him anyway. We saw a movie in room 309 yesterday. Speedy was in there and did he look tough. He was stretched out across these desks and...you know. Little Kurt's bigger than me! Honest! I was so shocked. He looks like Opie on Andy Griffith but his name is Steve! Remember Stephanie McGuire? Well, she's a dope pusher and dope addict. She's run away from home and had the cops after her. Linda Waldorf's seen her smoking reefers. Yuck. Jim Peters & Candy. Elaine and Betty Brown are dolls.
Mostly a do-nothing day. there's supposed to be a good show on tomorrow night called "Murray the K at Shea, Baby". It sounds excellent -- James Brown, Miracles, Martha & the Vandellas. The Turtles are on The Smothers Brothers tomorrow.
I remember that the air pollution project was one big-ass assignment. it took for-ever...I also wish that somebody back then could have enlightened me as to the nature of "change"; that that's all there is, and it's your reaction to life's changes and challenges that measures your success.
March 19th
Monkees -- Davy's precious as usual. I saw him on a commercial for the show the other guys -- LUV HIM! Third part of "Atta Girl, Kelly" was great. Confirmation class and me went to Palm Sunday services at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen. It was beautiful, let me tell ya, but so different -- the atmosphere and all. I'll tell ya more about it tomorrow.
March 20th
Phil Pill Putterpill, Pill Dickles -- I LUVS HIM AGAIN!! Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil...
Problems, group -- algebra. I'm like flunkin' and I'm worried. I've got a 44 average with only about 2 weeks to go in the term. My problem is that I can't concentrate. It's sort of like the opposite of what I expected in this class; it's so dumb that I thought I'd be the top guy. Well, it didn't turn out like that. I think what's wrong is that I went from one extreme to the other and this class is so stupid that I'm like bored to tears and so I don't concentrate. Of course, the BIG THING in mind is THE TRIP, but what I'm pullin' for now is not to flunk this term. Hell -- what a mess I've gotten myself into. I must have no will power at all. Well, I'm going to talk to Walters tomorrow. She knows I can't concentrate but other than that it's like talking to a computer. You know, 9 times out of 10 I can talk myself right around teachers but this time I wonder if I've met my Waterloo. I told Mom -- she's convinced that it's a repeat of last year and that I'll end up in summer school, but Terri, Karen and Ann keep tellin' me not to worry.
March 21st
Talked to dear old luvable sweet Walters. I never got a chance to get at the human angle -- for 20 minutes she told me how I had messed up the test so beautifully. Guess who better start concentrating.
I was just thinking..I've got my first Righteous Brothers album on and boy does it remind me of summer. Old summers to be more specific. Gosh, it even hurts to think about it. I wish, just sometimes when things get you down, that you could turn back the clock for awhile. Ya know somethin'? I'm more mixed up now than I've ever been. Maybe I think about myself too much. Anyway, Im beginning to get the impression that I'm a no good no-good. I wish that somebody would come along that would make me feel like I'm good again -- needed.
March 22nd
This day was one horrible, yucky waste. For one thing, get this, Judi was absent. Now just why was she absent? Try because she was rushed off the bus to the hospital in an ambulance. My eyeballs nearly fell out when Leslie told me. On top of that, Phil was absent. The nerve of that guy! I was ready to turn around and go right back home again! Anyway, about Judi, seems that she dislocated her kneecap when she sat down, and it killed her something terrible. Luckily, it happened near her house, and the driver ran back there and called an ambulance. When it got to the bus, the guys had to get her knee back in place 'cause she couldn't walk. Man that must've hurt. So they took her to Sinai and now she's on crutches and laid up for part of the vacation. Well, anything to make life more exciting.
This morning, while walking down the street to the bus-stop, I thought I heard something strange but I couldn't be sure because we were walking by a car with the motor running. Then Linda said, "It's Indians!" I looked up and saw what I thought was a bunch of gulls. but suddenly the noise they were making became clearer and I recognized it as honking. It was a flock of geese, flying in formation right above us! It was the neatest thing, but of course nobody would believe me when I told them in school. Well, after all, how many geese have you ever seen flying over Baltimore? (Remember the time I was convinced that Danti's had been robbed?)
Tomorrow we get out! Wahoo!! It's funny, but I wish the term were longer so's I could pull up algebra, and French. Yeah, my test grades in there are averaging out to a C.
It seems hard to believe that there wasn't a time when geese weren't everywhere, but apparently not in Baltimore in 1967.
March 23rd
T.G.W.O. (Thank God we're Out!)
P.S. I don't like Phil anymore.
March 24th
Slept over Terri's tonight. Saw part of "Lilies of the Field". Terri might join BBG -- luverly. Oh well. Tomorrow we're seeing Dr. Zhivago after bowling. I haven't seen a movie in ages.
March 25th
Saw Dr. Zhivago. Photography was excellent but the characterization wasn't that hot. Before bowling I rode around with Terri while she practiced parking at Sudbrook. She may take her test next week. Is that great or is that great?
I remember the incredible excitement of having the first of our group get her driver's license.
March 26th
Easter Sunday and fine weather. I sort of just hung around though. Karen came over during the evening. She's been doin' good, goin' out lately. Mardi Gras is tomorrow. I bet'cha The Miracles don't show up.
Mardi Gras was the Spring Dance at Milford. For some reason they expected Smokey Robinson and the Miracles to be the band.
March 27th
Kurt Baby was on "The Road West" tonight. Luv him! Went to the dentist in the afternoon (yuck -- 2 cavities) and shopping. Holy Cow -- I need so much stuff for the trip you wouldn't believe it. But everything's gotta fit, look good and also be portable.
March 28th
Man, am I dead! I had a body wave down at Cross Keys and it took 4 hours. Patrick cut and shaped my hair as well, so it's a bit short but at least it has a line to follow when it grows.
March 31st
Spring Cleaning today and me with a broken back. Cute. GUESS WHAT? I wrote a letter to Kurt Russell! And actually mailed it, believe it or not. Boy, just wait until I show his letter to the peasants at school (when I get an answer in maybe 6 years).
Memoranda
Well, looks like this was Twin Month last year. This time the results are kinda different -- me no like no more at the moment. I'm looking for quintuplets. No, really, they're out for now but who knows what can happen!
Lists
Favorites:
Colors - bright oranges and yellows, bright shades of blue and light green, soft pinks
Cars - cycles
Boys - Phil and Doug Edwards, Randy Furr, Gary, Steve Dorf, Danny Winn, Little Kurt
TV Shows - Jack Paar specials
Hobbies - boys, records and singing groups, actors, playing uke and piano, learning to play lacrosse
Actors - Omar Shariff, Keith and Kevin Shultz, Sammy Davis
Boys' names - Kevin, Brad, Scott, Phil, Jeff, Denny, Randy, Terry, Davy, Sandy
Girls' names - Kerry, Kim, Stacy, Becky, Jackie, Pepper
Foods - sweet pickles, cold chicken and cole slaw, egg nog-flavored Instant Breakfast
Dislikes:
Foods - brown sugar Pop Tarts, too salty lox, soft scrambled eggs
Colors - orange-ish red
Friday, September 21, 2012
1967 - February
February 1st
WHIZ WHIZ -- sounds of the year going by. I borrowed a picture of Mike (Doll) Hoffman from Sue and I'm gonna use it to get back at Anne. Just guess how! Get this one, folkses, I, yes me, got a B- and a B+ on my French exams. Do you believe it?! Linda is going out with Lou this Friday. Judi and Buzzy might break up. Millie's leaving in March. More tomorrow!
February 2nd
It was raining tonight -- you wouldn't believe how hard. Man I thought the roof was gonna come down. Jeff practically drove me crazy with one of his little tantrums. I'd love to knock his head against the wall.
Groundhog Day and -- no shadow! You know what that means -- spring is just around that little ol' corner. That always seemed stupid to me. After all, it should be that if he doesn't see his shadow (meaning it's cloudy out) then that should mean that there's gonna be 6 more weeks of winter. Makes more sense. Anyhow, this has been a lousy winter anyway, as far as weather goes. Temps. in the 60's and '70's. Dumb.
What's new...OK, let's start with Mike. (I hear no arguments.) I told you yesterday that I was bringing his picture in to school and boy did I. First of all, I made up 3 beautiful stories. #1 - I told Terri that Mike gave me the pic personally, which was a perfect lie but I love to see people drool. #2 - Anne has been getting on my nerves lately with all these boys, so since I had mentioned Steve W. to her when I liked him, I told her that Mike was Steve! It did my heart good to watch her tongue hanging out. I sure got back at her. Finally, I told Sue Tucker that Mike was Danny. But I forgot that in algebra, Sue sits in back of me and Anne sits in front. I didn't realize until late in the class that they both thought that Mike was somebody else! We 3 started talking and the conversation turned to him! I was so glad when that bell rang. Luckily neither of them had mentioned his name yet.
Boy department -- Judi and Buzzy are back -- she's a good kid. Anne's finished with Terry and Phil. Yay! Although I don't know what good that does me. Stuart Wiles is a bum -- I don't see how I ever could have liked him. Margie is having Chuck problems -- 3 of them! Sue and her Rebels are a big joke ('cept for Mike). Barb Levin got a little too uppity and now she's having problems. Good. Larry (Terri) got really drunk Saturday night. Terri tells me he was completely out of his mind. The boys told him that he had just become a father, and he believed them! Must have been his first time -- drinking I mean. Danny -- way down. McGovern had some passion mark on his neck this week, I hear. Wouldn't put it past him.
I'm in the mood to make out with Mike. Think I could borrow him from Robyn? No? Oh well...We had sort of a little French program this past Tuesday (nyuk, nyuk). this French family was here, and they answered questions. There were 2 little boys, 4 and 2, and McGovern played father. It was a riot. A real panic.
Cindy finally got caught in history today. I really thought Killer was going to cry. Then of course there's Flower (gurgle, gurgle), and Voice (2) and Head (canteen) all combining to make a thoroughly enjoyable 6th period. Hail Queer's Row!
Down with: sentence transcriptions, tab mechanisms, vertical and horizontal centering, PUT, body mechanics, fall-out shelters, deodorant and moldy roast, contes, quickies, nyuk, Linnaeus, Dennis Ball, micro-viewers and phylums, Stavrianos, Walters, fractions, 3rd floor, attendance, locked lavatories, gym uniforms...
Gotta do me homework.
Queers Row was in history class. Judi Wheeler and I noticed that the boys sitting across from us all looked very strange. So we made up names to match the way they looked and enjoyed ourselves writing funny notes about them. Our poor teacher was a very nice man, but clueless. Back then the word "queer" did not have a gay connotation. In fact, we just thought it was a very funny word and I still have the list we made substituting "queer" for many things.
February 3rd
Report cards and that damn McGovern gave me a C! Oh yes, Linda he gives a B and even Margie gets a C, but I can sweat my guts out and I'll still get the lower grade. Of course I know that my oral presentation wasn't that hot, but it's frustrating when you can't seem to answer anything right, even when you volunteer. Besides that, he hates me. Oh dear. Anyway, I was feeling pretty depressed until Sandy and Darryl came over at night. We got Danny, came back here and had the craziest time. Darryl is out of his mind, and well, you know Danny.
February 4th
Put on eyeliner today for the first time -- didn't look half bad! Got a little too carried away with my eyebrows though. Well, it's only hair and it'll grow. Jeff liked it anyway, and let me tell you, that's real praise!
February 5th
Heard about the funniest game on Candid Camera -- remind me to try it. Glug -- I gotta talk to McGovern tomorrow morning and I don't envy myself one bit, if you know what I mean. 'Sides, found out that Judi got a C.
February 6th
Talked to McGovern and beat this one -- I had a 78 average. Everybody else gets gift Bs, but oh no, I couldn't get a B if it was "Be Kind to Sunny Week" D__N it.
February 7th
Shoveled snow this afternoon -- more like shoveling rocks, and then I went over Linda's and helped her bake a cake. I mean, it was really tough with a mix. By the way -- no school tomorrow!
"To B or not to B" -- Walters, 7th period.
"Hemlock Holmes" -- Marck, biology
The Monkees were great tonight! Everytime I turned around, though, Davy was kissing a different girl! The show was precious anyway. I was talkin' to Terri after it was over and somehow (I wonder how?) we got around to Speedy (Bob Carter). Up popped that irresistible urge -- well, can you imagine? I swear, he's got more sex appeal than Jean Paul Belmondo and Sean Connery put together!
Wanta hear something funny? My balloon ticket -- yeah, my balloon ticket was returned today by air mail (20 cents!) from NJ. Seems that a man, out collecting reptiles for the Bronx Zoo found it out by some railroad tracks! I cracked up when that ticket fell out of the envelope. It was really weird, 'cause I mean, the contest was over 9 months ago!
Right now it's snowing cats, dogs and horses, as well as reindeer and polar bears. We are out of school (praised be heaven) and so is every other county in the whole state excepting 3. Linda misses her Chuck Study. Ha ha ha.
February 8th
That gosh darn squeak in the den is driving me nutty, but Dad says that it's not the fan belt. Whoopee. Linda and me used Jay's toboggan out back. It was great -- a solid sheet of ice.
February 9th
Get this one, folkses. I almost dropped from shock when I heard it -- Judi Wheeler (she broke up with Buzzy) likes DANNY! Of all people! She's only seen him once and never met him, but then I've always known that he's got IT. You know what IT is. Bob Carter's got IT and Dino's got IT. Now you know. Anyhoo -- I can't explain it, but I'm glad! I can't figure out why, but I am. Well, there could be a couple of reasons. #1 It's neat having another girl interested in a boy you've liked when you know she doesn't have a chance of getting him. #2 I'd rather talk about Danny than Buzzy, mainly because i'm the biggest liar in town and can afford to build Danny up, if you know what I mean.
I had nothing to do, so I decided to look at my old diaries -- the days when I died for Danny. It was so funny I practically choked (can be taken either way).
I'm keeping up the Big Lie with Anne -- well what else can I do when she starts to make me sick? Sue & Del I don't mind so much.
Didja hear about that curfew they might put on teenagers in the county? AGGGHHK! Can you imagine? All on account of the dope pushers...I can't believe Kathy and Otts...Can you imagine what it would be like to die, be packed in ice and wake up 100 years later? They froze this scientist 2 weeks ago and are gonna try and wake him when they find a cure for cancer. Wild.
I apparently used to have a penchant for exaggerating and would resort to outright lying and manipulation when I wanted something. I don't think that changed until college when I realized that I had to rely on me and only me to accomplish things.
February 11th
Terri's Sweet Sixteen -- OK, up to the time when Linda announces she's running against me for president. I know she's doing it just for spite. The kids think she's nuts. It sort of bothered me at first 'cause I was kinda countin' on her support. Oh well. I sure hope Sue Edwards doesn't run...Tonight I babysat for the Snyders on Campfield Road. It was unbelievable. They have 4 kids, 5 cats and a dog. The baby was precious and so were the kittens so I didn't mind too much. In fact, hardly at all! You know what I love? Those "wide-eyed" paintings of kids; they're adorable.
February 12th
Happy Birthday to you -- dear ol' Lincoln. The Wizard of Oz was on tonight -- of course I watched it! After all, it's only my 6th year, whaddya expect?
February 13th
Me luvs the Monkees! This happens every Monday. Mickey Davy Peter Mike. Mmnnn. Mickey looked so good tonight, but I wish they didn't have to end every show with Davy kissing some girl. It sort of gets on your nerves.
February 15th
I just luv The Monroes. Twins again. Confirmation class was a drag as usual -- we got our assignments. Beat this one -- Speedy grew a moustache. BLECH. That makes only 14 (with Gary gone?) unless he shaves the dumb thing off.
February 16th
Depression strikes -- flubbed up an algebra test. I forgot how to add complex fractions of all things. Can you imagine? Sue Tucker cut school to go to the doctor's in DC yesterday. Hmmn...
February 17th
NO SCHOOL! How about that? Snow as usual. Really, it wasn't necessary to get out; the stuff melted pretty quick. Got a thingy at the orthodontist's -- it's supposed to shove my top teeth together. I might be finished by the summer!
February 18th
Make-up driver's ed class cancelled. Knocked around during the day. At night I went over Karen's. She was in beautiful shape -- sherry and coke. She bummed half my cigarettes off me. This has been a "feel weird" night.
February 19th
Damn! I spent all afternoon doing sentence transcriptions before I found out that I only had to do half as many as I did. Found an article on Kurt Baby over Nana's. Die -- ooh. Luv him. He's 15 now.
February 20th
Surprise surprise -- Judi likes Danny again. I think that the reason I want her to like him is 'cause it makes him more attractive to me, if ya see what I mean. Should I ask him to the dance?
February 21st
Nyerp! Martians... Here come the little green men. ZAP ZOOP! don't mind me. I just saw this movie on TV about a Martian invasion. Neat! Boy this year is zooming by fast. Mixed reactions.
February 22nd
I love Pill (code name for Phil)! I really do. I get the worst urge to hug him in history, pat him on the head or do something. Ya know, I wonder what would happen if I actually did!
"I hafsta go to zuh bafsroom. Shush yo mouf!" -- Millie Beal talk
Just saw The Monroes. Boy those twins are precious. Show's kinda dumb though. You know who I hate -- Freddy Gray, or whatever his name is. He's the DJ on WCAO. He's filling in now for Johnny Dark while he's sick. He talks too darn much. Bothers me. "Kind of a Hush" is on the radio now. D'ya know the oldest kid in the group is 13? The drummer is only 6. Neat.
Karen's mother set their oven on fire and ended up with 3 fire engines. It was funny! Boy firemen sure look big! This Friday from 5 to 6 and from now on every weekday is The Kirby Scott Show. GREAT!! Little Charlie is on the first one and I can't wait to see it. There'll probably be a whole bunch of kids I know since it's produced locally.
Current Problems -- #1 Getting around to calling Mrs. Turner, #2 Remembering to wear my plate and rubberbands, #3 Cutting out stuff for Air Pollution, #4 Finding my 4 lost books, #5 Keeping from getting a deficiency in algebra, #6 Asking Danny to the Sophomore Dance, #7 Trying not to kill Jeff and Linda.
I gotta go to the bathroom. G'bye!
The reason I hated DJs who talked over records is that back then we had to tape songs off the radio that we couldn't afford to buy. Below is Kirby Scott.
February 23rd
School was absolutely wild today. Especially history. That Tim O'Hara with his fatherly act and quotes, and Cindy beaning Killer with little beads, and Steve G. and his "skinny people". So funny!
Steve G(illman) was an acquaintance from elementary school on. In the 90's I heard that he had gone on a solo camping trip in Shenandoah Park and was killed by a gunshot. I never learned any more details but there was an odd occurrence -- a short time before I was told about his death, I had a dream where he was standing at the foot of my bed. I thought that it was very odd since I hadn't thought about him in years.
February 24th
Oh brother -- you'll never believe who's loose in Baltimore. The Boston Strangler! he escaped from a mental hospital in Mass. and hitchhiked down here. Boy, that gives me the shivers!
Well, here we go again! You'll never guess what happened today -- I started liking Doug! Remind you of something? I don't know what the odds are against liking 2 sets of twins (all 4 boys) 2 years in a row but they must be pretty high. Everybody thinks I'm crazy -- maybe I am, but all I know is that I got so nervous and excited in history that I had to take a pill for a "nervous stomach". I haven't had one of those in a long time. Anyways, what happened was that I asked Phil if he took Algebra II. He said no, but that his brother did. So I asked Doug if he would help me with a problem. He had been working on it for 5 minutes when Phil looked at him, and then at me, and said, "You're asking the wrong person. He flunked algebra last term." but then Doug answered, without looking up, "Yeah, but at least I didn't take Algebra I over 3 times." I had to laugh at that one.
Doug is a real doll. He has more personality than Phil. He worked on that problem for 20 whole minutes before I practically made him give up. I can't get over how nice he is. Talkative, too. Ya know, he didn't have to help me with that problem...and that's when it started -- I LUV DOUG. Judi was funny when I told her. "What would you do", she said, "if they were triplets?" I think that I'm slowly driving her out of her mind. Actually, what I want to do now, is talk to Doug and makeout with Phil. Makes sense, huh?
Everytime Phil puts his head down on the desk, I get that "irresistable urge". I really really luv him! It's gotta be chemistry because my brain doesn't agree with my feelings. Oh well -- who wants to argue when it's easier to just sit there and imagine...Sylburn Avenue...
Sylburn was (in)famous for parking.
February 25th
First Driver's Ed class today -- crazy! Go Jews, of course, but there are some good lookin' boys. Teacher's a real idiot, young and all, and he starts off about parking. I have a car pool with Margie and Debbie Keck.
The class was held at Park School, a private school out in Stevenson.
February 26th
Ate over the Hyman's -- man what a deal! Red wine with the meal was beautiful...yeah...After dinner Uncle Julian showed me how to use chopsticks. Boy did I feel like a clod!
I never actually learned to use chopsticks until I was 22. I was stoned at the time and it made learning exponentially more difficult, as you can imagine.
February 27th
Mickey Dolenz...oh...yeah...Talk about vicarious experience. Wow. He looked so tough in one shot -- he was leaning down towards this girl to kiss her, and he was movin' real slow. About a fraction of an inch away, he stops! What a let-down. I still luv him. Peter was precious as usual.
List time, folkses:
#1 Current fave boys -- Gary (?) possibly engaged, Bob Carter (?), Little Kurt, Little Charlie Duroser, Ronnie Manser, Terry Hancock, Phil Edwards, Steve Johnson, Jim Peters, Chuck Smith, Ken Wally, Irving (?), Charles Steigler
#2 Bestest songs -- "Dedicated to the One I Love" - Mamas & Papas, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" - Jetsons
#3 TV programs -- Monroes, Monkees, Gunsmoke
* Get this one -- they're taking off The Monroes and Gunsmoke next year! Rotten ol'...
School News: 1st period - English -- so far all A's; an A+ on my transcriptions -- gotta keep it up! Ya know, it's funny but I work hardest at the thing I'm best at; 2nd period - Typing -- fair. I flunked a timed writing (too many mistakes) but I got a check + on a letter. She even put it up on the board!; 3rd period - Gym -- 3 minuses as of now, 2 for skipping showers and 1 for forgetting my socks. My notebook is good though. We're starting gymnastics. I can't do anything except hop up and down on the tramp but it ought to be fun; 4th period - Biology -- not so hot, but could be worse. a check, 50 and a 70. My last lab was good though and oh yeah, I got an 84 on our plant test. she's an easy marker and I expect a good grade on the protist test; 5th period - French -- pretty darn good! I've really improved this term. In fact, I got my first "excellante!" today; 6th period - History -- no tests so far. I guess I'm doin' OK considering this is the class where I only partially exist - Phil and Doug...you know...Judi and me write notes the whole period; 7th period - Algebra -- Flunking beautifully, thank you. 2 E's so far. For some reason it doesn't bother me. I'm convinced I'll bring it up before the end of the term.
Friends: Linda - go Jeff Katz. Really, she hasn't been too bad lately. Just her normal obnoxiousness; Terri - likes Barry Hurtz. Out of her mind. I hear he's some drinker. She had a fight with Steve and so didn't ask him to the dance. Darn; Barbara - having Harry problems. So what else. I hear he and Neal ignored her at the mixer. I think I'm getting used to her blabbing at the table. In one ear and out the other; Ronni - no change. She really oughta lose some weight, but she's a good kid; Judi - still likes Danny, I think, but is getting ulcers trying to get me and at least one of the twins together. We can have the wildest time. Only thing I don't like is sometimes she's moody; Ann - grr...she's going steady with Alan. Margie's sure happy; it'll keep her away from Chuck P). Alan's little, one of Teddy Zlatin's friends (what I haven't heard about Teddy!).
Ann told me that where she babysat Friday, the people have a Great Dane and a boa constrictor! Can you imagine? That night, Sue Edwards gave a surprise going-away party for Judy Kirchoff. I hear everyone was there. Chuck P got bombed and beat this, his parents showed up! I wonder what happened. Of course Terry and some other fratters were there. Debbie K luvs Terry; who doesn't? Gerri went too; I didn't know she was so friendly with that crowd. Judy moved to Howard County, not far but it must have shook up Charlie. She's a good kid.
Sue T - got her hair cut. She's been kinda different since that day she went to Washington. I haven't heard any more about Del and we've stopped writing notes. I wonder what happened. I really doubt if she's pregnant but, I just don't know...Kirby Scott was great Friday. A lot of kids I know were on. I was jealous as anything. Let's see, there was Charlie, Marcy Spawn, Sealle, Cecile Strauss, Richard Bart, Lynne Kaplan, Lynn Blacker.
My comment, "I work hardest at the thing I'm best at" seems to be a life-long pattern. When I enjoy something or want something, nothing can stop me. Back when I had gym it was very difficult to get from gym to the next class on time. One reason was that we were supposed to take a shower. The other is that we were still wearing skirts, and pantihose hadn't been invented yet. So dressing involved girdles and took awhile. We tried to get away with skipping showers whenever we could.
February 28th
I sure remember today last year. It seems like yesterday. School is depressing me right now -- maybe 'cause Dug is "out". Same story as with Bob Marvin -- one little ol' word. Should I give him another chance?
Memoranda
Go Phil Go Doug (?) Go Terry Go Gary Go Steve Go Kurt Go Charlie Go Charles Go Ronnie Go Bob Go Jim Etc Etc Etc! 'Nough said? Woodlawn's great and I luv it! Forward, March! Jeff -- well, Voogie's sure got him scrambled up. You know, sometimes I begin to think that he'll never change, but that mood passses. You gotta have faith! February really is a speedy little month. Look -- the next page is March already! I'm getting to be old and decrepit -- poor me. Oh well. Let's see what develops with the twins next month. Sunny & Fill & Dug, n'est pas?
WHIZ WHIZ -- sounds of the year going by. I borrowed a picture of Mike (Doll) Hoffman from Sue and I'm gonna use it to get back at Anne. Just guess how! Get this one, folkses, I, yes me, got a B- and a B+ on my French exams. Do you believe it?! Linda is going out with Lou this Friday. Judi and Buzzy might break up. Millie's leaving in March. More tomorrow!
February 2nd
It was raining tonight -- you wouldn't believe how hard. Man I thought the roof was gonna come down. Jeff practically drove me crazy with one of his little tantrums. I'd love to knock his head against the wall.
Groundhog Day and -- no shadow! You know what that means -- spring is just around that little ol' corner. That always seemed stupid to me. After all, it should be that if he doesn't see his shadow (meaning it's cloudy out) then that should mean that there's gonna be 6 more weeks of winter. Makes more sense. Anyhow, this has been a lousy winter anyway, as far as weather goes. Temps. in the 60's and '70's. Dumb.
What's new...OK, let's start with Mike. (I hear no arguments.) I told you yesterday that I was bringing his picture in to school and boy did I. First of all, I made up 3 beautiful stories. #1 - I told Terri that Mike gave me the pic personally, which was a perfect lie but I love to see people drool. #2 - Anne has been getting on my nerves lately with all these boys, so since I had mentioned Steve W. to her when I liked him, I told her that Mike was Steve! It did my heart good to watch her tongue hanging out. I sure got back at her. Finally, I told Sue Tucker that Mike was Danny. But I forgot that in algebra, Sue sits in back of me and Anne sits in front. I didn't realize until late in the class that they both thought that Mike was somebody else! We 3 started talking and the conversation turned to him! I was so glad when that bell rang. Luckily neither of them had mentioned his name yet.
Boy department -- Judi and Buzzy are back -- she's a good kid. Anne's finished with Terry and Phil. Yay! Although I don't know what good that does me. Stuart Wiles is a bum -- I don't see how I ever could have liked him. Margie is having Chuck problems -- 3 of them! Sue and her Rebels are a big joke ('cept for Mike). Barb Levin got a little too uppity and now she's having problems. Good. Larry (Terri) got really drunk Saturday night. Terri tells me he was completely out of his mind. The boys told him that he had just become a father, and he believed them! Must have been his first time -- drinking I mean. Danny -- way down. McGovern had some passion mark on his neck this week, I hear. Wouldn't put it past him.
I'm in the mood to make out with Mike. Think I could borrow him from Robyn? No? Oh well...We had sort of a little French program this past Tuesday (nyuk, nyuk). this French family was here, and they answered questions. There were 2 little boys, 4 and 2, and McGovern played father. It was a riot. A real panic.
Cindy finally got caught in history today. I really thought Killer was going to cry. Then of course there's Flower (gurgle, gurgle), and Voice (2) and Head (canteen) all combining to make a thoroughly enjoyable 6th period. Hail Queer's Row!
Down with: sentence transcriptions, tab mechanisms, vertical and horizontal centering, PUT, body mechanics, fall-out shelters, deodorant and moldy roast, contes, quickies, nyuk, Linnaeus, Dennis Ball, micro-viewers and phylums, Stavrianos, Walters, fractions, 3rd floor, attendance, locked lavatories, gym uniforms...
Gotta do me homework.
Queers Row was in history class. Judi Wheeler and I noticed that the boys sitting across from us all looked very strange. So we made up names to match the way they looked and enjoyed ourselves writing funny notes about them. Our poor teacher was a very nice man, but clueless. Back then the word "queer" did not have a gay connotation. In fact, we just thought it was a very funny word and I still have the list we made substituting "queer" for many things.
February 3rd
Report cards and that damn McGovern gave me a C! Oh yes, Linda he gives a B and even Margie gets a C, but I can sweat my guts out and I'll still get the lower grade. Of course I know that my oral presentation wasn't that hot, but it's frustrating when you can't seem to answer anything right, even when you volunteer. Besides that, he hates me. Oh dear. Anyway, I was feeling pretty depressed until Sandy and Darryl came over at night. We got Danny, came back here and had the craziest time. Darryl is out of his mind, and well, you know Danny.
February 4th
Put on eyeliner today for the first time -- didn't look half bad! Got a little too carried away with my eyebrows though. Well, it's only hair and it'll grow. Jeff liked it anyway, and let me tell you, that's real praise!
February 5th
Heard about the funniest game on Candid Camera -- remind me to try it. Glug -- I gotta talk to McGovern tomorrow morning and I don't envy myself one bit, if you know what I mean. 'Sides, found out that Judi got a C.
February 6th
Talked to McGovern and beat this one -- I had a 78 average. Everybody else gets gift Bs, but oh no, I couldn't get a B if it was "Be Kind to Sunny Week" D__N it.
February 7th
Shoveled snow this afternoon -- more like shoveling rocks, and then I went over Linda's and helped her bake a cake. I mean, it was really tough with a mix. By the way -- no school tomorrow!
"To B or not to B" -- Walters, 7th period.
"Hemlock Holmes" -- Marck, biology
The Monkees were great tonight! Everytime I turned around, though, Davy was kissing a different girl! The show was precious anyway. I was talkin' to Terri after it was over and somehow (I wonder how?) we got around to Speedy (Bob Carter). Up popped that irresistible urge -- well, can you imagine? I swear, he's got more sex appeal than Jean Paul Belmondo and Sean Connery put together!
Wanta hear something funny? My balloon ticket -- yeah, my balloon ticket was returned today by air mail (20 cents!) from NJ. Seems that a man, out collecting reptiles for the Bronx Zoo found it out by some railroad tracks! I cracked up when that ticket fell out of the envelope. It was really weird, 'cause I mean, the contest was over 9 months ago!
Right now it's snowing cats, dogs and horses, as well as reindeer and polar bears. We are out of school (praised be heaven) and so is every other county in the whole state excepting 3. Linda misses her Chuck Study. Ha ha ha.
February 8th
That gosh darn squeak in the den is driving me nutty, but Dad says that it's not the fan belt. Whoopee. Linda and me used Jay's toboggan out back. It was great -- a solid sheet of ice.
February 9th
Get this one, folkses. I almost dropped from shock when I heard it -- Judi Wheeler (she broke up with Buzzy) likes DANNY! Of all people! She's only seen him once and never met him, but then I've always known that he's got IT. You know what IT is. Bob Carter's got IT and Dino's got IT. Now you know. Anyhoo -- I can't explain it, but I'm glad! I can't figure out why, but I am. Well, there could be a couple of reasons. #1 It's neat having another girl interested in a boy you've liked when you know she doesn't have a chance of getting him. #2 I'd rather talk about Danny than Buzzy, mainly because i'm the biggest liar in town and can afford to build Danny up, if you know what I mean.
I had nothing to do, so I decided to look at my old diaries -- the days when I died for Danny. It was so funny I practically choked (can be taken either way).
I'm keeping up the Big Lie with Anne -- well what else can I do when she starts to make me sick? Sue & Del I don't mind so much.
Didja hear about that curfew they might put on teenagers in the county? AGGGHHK! Can you imagine? All on account of the dope pushers...I can't believe Kathy and Otts...Can you imagine what it would be like to die, be packed in ice and wake up 100 years later? They froze this scientist 2 weeks ago and are gonna try and wake him when they find a cure for cancer. Wild.
I apparently used to have a penchant for exaggerating and would resort to outright lying and manipulation when I wanted something. I don't think that changed until college when I realized that I had to rely on me and only me to accomplish things.
February 11th
Terri's Sweet Sixteen -- OK, up to the time when Linda announces she's running against me for president. I know she's doing it just for spite. The kids think she's nuts. It sort of bothered me at first 'cause I was kinda countin' on her support. Oh well. I sure hope Sue Edwards doesn't run...Tonight I babysat for the Snyders on Campfield Road. It was unbelievable. They have 4 kids, 5 cats and a dog. The baby was precious and so were the kittens so I didn't mind too much. In fact, hardly at all! You know what I love? Those "wide-eyed" paintings of kids; they're adorable.
February 12th
Happy Birthday to you -- dear ol' Lincoln. The Wizard of Oz was on tonight -- of course I watched it! After all, it's only my 6th year, whaddya expect?
February 13th
Me luvs the Monkees! This happens every Monday. Mickey Davy Peter Mike. Mmnnn. Mickey looked so good tonight, but I wish they didn't have to end every show with Davy kissing some girl. It sort of gets on your nerves.
February 15th
I just luv The Monroes. Twins again. Confirmation class was a drag as usual -- we got our assignments. Beat this one -- Speedy grew a moustache. BLECH. That makes only 14 (with Gary gone?) unless he shaves the dumb thing off.
February 16th
Depression strikes -- flubbed up an algebra test. I forgot how to add complex fractions of all things. Can you imagine? Sue Tucker cut school to go to the doctor's in DC yesterday. Hmmn...
February 17th
NO SCHOOL! How about that? Snow as usual. Really, it wasn't necessary to get out; the stuff melted pretty quick. Got a thingy at the orthodontist's -- it's supposed to shove my top teeth together. I might be finished by the summer!
February 18th
Make-up driver's ed class cancelled. Knocked around during the day. At night I went over Karen's. She was in beautiful shape -- sherry and coke. She bummed half my cigarettes off me. This has been a "feel weird" night.
February 19th
Damn! I spent all afternoon doing sentence transcriptions before I found out that I only had to do half as many as I did. Found an article on Kurt Baby over Nana's. Die -- ooh. Luv him. He's 15 now.
February 20th
Surprise surprise -- Judi likes Danny again. I think that the reason I want her to like him is 'cause it makes him more attractive to me, if ya see what I mean. Should I ask him to the dance?
February 21st
Nyerp! Martians... Here come the little green men. ZAP ZOOP! don't mind me. I just saw this movie on TV about a Martian invasion. Neat! Boy this year is zooming by fast. Mixed reactions.
February 22nd
I love Pill (code name for Phil)! I really do. I get the worst urge to hug him in history, pat him on the head or do something. Ya know, I wonder what would happen if I actually did!
"I hafsta go to zuh bafsroom. Shush yo mouf!" -- Millie Beal talk
Just saw The Monroes. Boy those twins are precious. Show's kinda dumb though. You know who I hate -- Freddy Gray, or whatever his name is. He's the DJ on WCAO. He's filling in now for Johnny Dark while he's sick. He talks too darn much. Bothers me. "Kind of a Hush" is on the radio now. D'ya know the oldest kid in the group is 13? The drummer is only 6. Neat.
Karen's mother set their oven on fire and ended up with 3 fire engines. It was funny! Boy firemen sure look big! This Friday from 5 to 6 and from now on every weekday is The Kirby Scott Show. GREAT!! Little Charlie is on the first one and I can't wait to see it. There'll probably be a whole bunch of kids I know since it's produced locally.
Current Problems -- #1 Getting around to calling Mrs. Turner, #2 Remembering to wear my plate and rubberbands, #3 Cutting out stuff for Air Pollution, #4 Finding my 4 lost books, #5 Keeping from getting a deficiency in algebra, #6 Asking Danny to the Sophomore Dance, #7 Trying not to kill Jeff and Linda.
I gotta go to the bathroom. G'bye!
The reason I hated DJs who talked over records is that back then we had to tape songs off the radio that we couldn't afford to buy. Below is Kirby Scott.
February 23rd
School was absolutely wild today. Especially history. That Tim O'Hara with his fatherly act and quotes, and Cindy beaning Killer with little beads, and Steve G. and his "skinny people". So funny!
Steve G(illman) was an acquaintance from elementary school on. In the 90's I heard that he had gone on a solo camping trip in Shenandoah Park and was killed by a gunshot. I never learned any more details but there was an odd occurrence -- a short time before I was told about his death, I had a dream where he was standing at the foot of my bed. I thought that it was very odd since I hadn't thought about him in years.
February 24th
Oh brother -- you'll never believe who's loose in Baltimore. The Boston Strangler! he escaped from a mental hospital in Mass. and hitchhiked down here. Boy, that gives me the shivers!
Well, here we go again! You'll never guess what happened today -- I started liking Doug! Remind you of something? I don't know what the odds are against liking 2 sets of twins (all 4 boys) 2 years in a row but they must be pretty high. Everybody thinks I'm crazy -- maybe I am, but all I know is that I got so nervous and excited in history that I had to take a pill for a "nervous stomach". I haven't had one of those in a long time. Anyways, what happened was that I asked Phil if he took Algebra II. He said no, but that his brother did. So I asked Doug if he would help me with a problem. He had been working on it for 5 minutes when Phil looked at him, and then at me, and said, "You're asking the wrong person. He flunked algebra last term." but then Doug answered, without looking up, "Yeah, but at least I didn't take Algebra I over 3 times." I had to laugh at that one.
Doug is a real doll. He has more personality than Phil. He worked on that problem for 20 whole minutes before I practically made him give up. I can't get over how nice he is. Talkative, too. Ya know, he didn't have to help me with that problem...and that's when it started -- I LUV DOUG. Judi was funny when I told her. "What would you do", she said, "if they were triplets?" I think that I'm slowly driving her out of her mind. Actually, what I want to do now, is talk to Doug and makeout with Phil. Makes sense, huh?
Everytime Phil puts his head down on the desk, I get that "irresistable urge". I really really luv him! It's gotta be chemistry because my brain doesn't agree with my feelings. Oh well -- who wants to argue when it's easier to just sit there and imagine...Sylburn Avenue...
Sylburn was (in)famous for parking.
February 25th
First Driver's Ed class today -- crazy! Go Jews, of course, but there are some good lookin' boys. Teacher's a real idiot, young and all, and he starts off about parking. I have a car pool with Margie and Debbie Keck.
The class was held at Park School, a private school out in Stevenson.
February 26th
Ate over the Hyman's -- man what a deal! Red wine with the meal was beautiful...yeah...After dinner Uncle Julian showed me how to use chopsticks. Boy did I feel like a clod!
I never actually learned to use chopsticks until I was 22. I was stoned at the time and it made learning exponentially more difficult, as you can imagine.
February 27th
Mickey Dolenz...oh...yeah...Talk about vicarious experience. Wow. He looked so tough in one shot -- he was leaning down towards this girl to kiss her, and he was movin' real slow. About a fraction of an inch away, he stops! What a let-down. I still luv him. Peter was precious as usual.
List time, folkses:
#1 Current fave boys -- Gary (?) possibly engaged, Bob Carter (?), Little Kurt, Little Charlie Duroser, Ronnie Manser, Terry Hancock, Phil Edwards, Steve Johnson, Jim Peters, Chuck Smith, Ken Wally, Irving (?), Charles Steigler
#2 Bestest songs -- "Dedicated to the One I Love" - Mamas & Papas, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" - Jetsons
#3 TV programs -- Monroes, Monkees, Gunsmoke
* Get this one -- they're taking off The Monroes and Gunsmoke next year! Rotten ol'...
School News: 1st period - English -- so far all A's; an A+ on my transcriptions -- gotta keep it up! Ya know, it's funny but I work hardest at the thing I'm best at; 2nd period - Typing -- fair. I flunked a timed writing (too many mistakes) but I got a check + on a letter. She even put it up on the board!; 3rd period - Gym -- 3 minuses as of now, 2 for skipping showers and 1 for forgetting my socks. My notebook is good though. We're starting gymnastics. I can't do anything except hop up and down on the tramp but it ought to be fun; 4th period - Biology -- not so hot, but could be worse. a check, 50 and a 70. My last lab was good though and oh yeah, I got an 84 on our plant test. she's an easy marker and I expect a good grade on the protist test; 5th period - French -- pretty darn good! I've really improved this term. In fact, I got my first "excellante!" today; 6th period - History -- no tests so far. I guess I'm doin' OK considering this is the class where I only partially exist - Phil and Doug...you know...Judi and me write notes the whole period; 7th period - Algebra -- Flunking beautifully, thank you. 2 E's so far. For some reason it doesn't bother me. I'm convinced I'll bring it up before the end of the term.
Friends: Linda - go Jeff Katz. Really, she hasn't been too bad lately. Just her normal obnoxiousness; Terri - likes Barry Hurtz. Out of her mind. I hear he's some drinker. She had a fight with Steve and so didn't ask him to the dance. Darn; Barbara - having Harry problems. So what else. I hear he and Neal ignored her at the mixer. I think I'm getting used to her blabbing at the table. In one ear and out the other; Ronni - no change. She really oughta lose some weight, but she's a good kid; Judi - still likes Danny, I think, but is getting ulcers trying to get me and at least one of the twins together. We can have the wildest time. Only thing I don't like is sometimes she's moody; Ann - grr...she's going steady with Alan. Margie's sure happy; it'll keep her away from Chuck P). Alan's little, one of Teddy Zlatin's friends (what I haven't heard about Teddy!).
Ann told me that where she babysat Friday, the people have a Great Dane and a boa constrictor! Can you imagine? That night, Sue Edwards gave a surprise going-away party for Judy Kirchoff. I hear everyone was there. Chuck P got bombed and beat this, his parents showed up! I wonder what happened. Of course Terry and some other fratters were there. Debbie K luvs Terry; who doesn't? Gerri went too; I didn't know she was so friendly with that crowd. Judy moved to Howard County, not far but it must have shook up Charlie. She's a good kid.
Sue T - got her hair cut. She's been kinda different since that day she went to Washington. I haven't heard any more about Del and we've stopped writing notes. I wonder what happened. I really doubt if she's pregnant but, I just don't know...Kirby Scott was great Friday. A lot of kids I know were on. I was jealous as anything. Let's see, there was Charlie, Marcy Spawn, Sealle, Cecile Strauss, Richard Bart, Lynne Kaplan, Lynn Blacker.
My comment, "I work hardest at the thing I'm best at" seems to be a life-long pattern. When I enjoy something or want something, nothing can stop me. Back when I had gym it was very difficult to get from gym to the next class on time. One reason was that we were supposed to take a shower. The other is that we were still wearing skirts, and pantihose hadn't been invented yet. So dressing involved girdles and took awhile. We tried to get away with skipping showers whenever we could.
February 28th
I sure remember today last year. It seems like yesterday. School is depressing me right now -- maybe 'cause Dug is "out". Same story as with Bob Marvin -- one little ol' word. Should I give him another chance?
Memoranda
Go Phil Go Doug (?) Go Terry Go Gary Go Steve Go Kurt Go Charlie Go Charles Go Ronnie Go Bob Go Jim Etc Etc Etc! 'Nough said? Woodlawn's great and I luv it! Forward, March! Jeff -- well, Voogie's sure got him scrambled up. You know, sometimes I begin to think that he'll never change, but that mood passses. You gotta have faith! February really is a speedy little month. Look -- the next page is March already! I'm getting to be old and decrepit -- poor me. Oh well. Let's see what develops with the twins next month. Sunny & Fill & Dug, n'est pas?
Friday, September 14, 2012
1964
January 11th
Today was the day of the annual Tyrole Camp Reunion at Paul's Restaurant. it was the best reunion I've ever been to! The new kids seemed to like me and I liked them. Even Miss Sandy called on me to lead a song -- I wasn't expecting it and was my face red! The games were great. Sally and me were partners in one, and in another I got the only points that our team ended up with. I [sic] was a great day!
January 19th
I am writing by flashlight because Dad said to turn out my light. Today we went to the Hopkins Club with Nana and Papa. We had a private room. It was pretty good. Jeff is such a pest lately that I can't stand it. Everything I do or say he contradicts. I may sound like a complaining machine but Dad and Mom won't get off my back. Do this. Do that. Stand up straight. Oh well.
January 20th
Today in school we had our english mid-year exam. I think that I did fairly well but I'm not sure. When I got home from school, Sue came over and we played jacks and listened to records. When Mom came in she said that Papa is in the hospital with a heart attack, but as far as I know he's OK. Nana ate dinner over and she's pretty composed. There was a tiny field mouse in the utility room. Boy did Mom scream!
January 21st
I am so worried about Papa. I prayed real hard for him to get better. I sure hope my prayers reach God. I do love him so much. I can't wait for this Exam Week to be over. I feel guilty because I haven't prepared enough. I won't make this mistake again! I want to get in the Eccelerate [Accelerated] Program real bad, but I probably won't make it. I'm very pessimistic. Mom and Dad are going to be disappointed.
January 22nd
It seems as though nothing is going right lately. Today we had our Mid-Year in Math and I flunked it. I started to cry right in front of Mr. Lominsky and he said that he'd see what he could do. Otherwise, I got an 88 on my Art Quiz and I also bought an ant farm for my science project. I am real worried about this report card. I just know that I'm not going to make the Merit List. I wish I could disappear!
January 24th
Sally, Sue, Carol and I had loads of fun this evening! We played gossip, charades and hide-and-go-seek. We might go ice skating tomorrow. After Sue and Caro left, Aunt Marilyn talked about the competition in private schools and colleges. She made me realize how important a good education is. I guess I had better try much harder if I expect to land in a good college. I know that I am not attempting to very hard right now.
January 25th
Talk about jinxes! Listen to this: It was rainy and cloudy this morning. My hair didn't turn out. I left my skating card home and had to buy a new one.
I had to borrow 65 cents from Aunt Marilyn and $1.00 from Jeff. My toes and legs hurt from the ice skates. A lot of stuff was stolen from my pocketbook. But I am confident that next week will be a lot better. Don't worry, dear diary.
January 26th
Right now I have a splitting headache, but boy was today wonderful! We went out to eat at "Something" Inn. The food was great and we all, including Nana, had a swell time. We also went to the hospital to see Papa. It was my first time there. He is getting along fine. The Wizard of Oz was on tonight for the 6th straight year, but it was great, too. Tomorrow should only be so good.
January 28th
Wowee, was today great! To start off the list, I got a B on my History exam, a B on my english exam, a 90 on my second math exam, a check+ and an A in spelling and an A in Junior Spastic [Junior Scholastic]. Besides, I think that the boys are starting to like me. I can't make up my mind about Simon. I don't know whether to tell him off, to try to start over or what. Secretly, I really do like him; I think he's cute. But I wouldn't let a soul know that.
Simon lived across the street. We played together as kids, and I "liked him liked him" in elementary school. We learned to jitterbug together in my basement for the 5th grade dances.
January 29th
We had a sub in CORE [Core subjects -- English and History] today, but we couldn't pull off anything; she was up to date. Simon's mother came over at 8:30 tonight and asked me to take his science book report to class because he's sick -- physically, that is, although I'm not sure. Anyway, I said yes and I hoped that he would feel better. I can't wait to get a letter from my pen pal. We get report cards Monday.
January 30th
Today was a fairly good day. In CORE I got a B+, a B- and a C. I am thoroughly confused in science but math is a little better. We jumped rope in the activity room in gym because of the concert. In art I am just about finished with project 15. I went to Hebrew School and Smelly [Mr. Smelkinson] was absent. Saye took his place. I watched Dr. Kildare and boy, is Richard Chamberlain cute! Wow! I've got a big crush on him. He's socute handsome! He makes me tingle all over!!
January 31st
I am very sleepy, so please excuse me if I make mistakes. Today there was no school and I didn't do much except go to the orthodontist. This evening all of us went to Chizuk [Chizuk Amuno] to see Barbara Sue Katzoff's Bas Mitzvah. It was my first Bas Mitzvah and now, from seeing it, I'm a little apprehensive about my own. In fact, I'm downright scared! I wish I could think of witty remarks on the spur of the moment.
February 3rd
Today we got report cards. I did very well in mostly every subject. I made the Merit List and I had one more point than last time. but I have to try much harder in Comp and Grammar, and math. Otherwise I'm satisfied with my marks. I have decided, for the 50 millionth time, to "start afresh" and to aim for even better grades. I don't know how long this binge will last. Jimmy Trosch lended me some Mad magazines which I want to read now.
February 8th
Tonight I went to Steve Kraus' Bar Mitzvah party -- my first. Steve looked real cute and he was very polite. There were 10 boys and 10 girls there. It wasn't wild at all. In fact, the boys seemed to enjoy dancing with the girls. I danced several dances, about half of which I asked the boys. Barry and I won the freeze contest and I danced a lot of twists. It was pretty good, but I wish that I were more popular and was asked to dance more often.
Barry was another boy from elementary school. He liked me more than I liked him. We went all the way through high school together and I was saddened to hear of his death shortly after our 20th reunion. Supposedly the cause was drugs.
April 17th
Tonight was the Spotlight Hop, or if you would prefer, the Elections Dance. It was held in the cafeteria with beautiful decorations. Lee Case was the disc jockey and he had great records. Everyone was keyed up, waiting for the outcome of the elections. I danced with several boys, including Darryl. Boy was that funny! [Darryl was much taller than I.] The winners were: Student Council President -- Beth Himmelstein, V.P. -- Roger Myerberg, Secretary -- Karen Brooks, Treasurer -- Brian Silberg. I am very happy for Karen because she deserves that honor, but I'm still a little jealous. Next year I think I will run for office, perhaps secretary.
April 27th
My first real date!!! Brian Sobelman asked me to Larry's Bar Mitzvah party at Suburban Orthodox Synogogue! I am floating around on Cloud 9. He's not exactly Richard Chamberlain, but he's sweet and shy in his own way. Talk about excitement! He asked me this morning after science. It will be held on May 30th. I can't wait! I found out that he really likes me, and I like him. He's a swell kid. He's 10 times better than last year's fuddy duddies!
April 29th
Brian is swell, but he could have a little more initiative -- like calling me up for instance. I wanted him to call desperately so I sent him a note in 7th period math. I said that I was having trouble with my math and could he call me and help me with it. He agreed to call at 7:30 but nothing special came out of it. I am slipping a little on my math. I don't hand in my homework. I guess I'm not trying very hard.
April 30th
I am crazy about Brian! He's a doll. I am so afraid of losing him that I chase him, maybe a little too much. I asked him for his picture. He wanted to swap but I didn't keep mine. He's giving his to me anyway. I am a little jealous of Connie even though she wants to leave him all for me. I know he likes her a little because he asked for her picture when we got them back. I hope he doesn't get tired of me.
May 4th
Ronnie (Rhonda Dickman) is giving a Bas Mitzvah barbeque on May 31st. I am invited...and...well, you can guess who I'm taking as my date! Brian!! I called him tonight at 7 and he accepted. So that makes it 2 dates with the Big B, one right after the other. I have the formal on the 30th and the barbeque on the 31st. Man oh man oh man! Brian is swell! Brian Brian Brian Brian!
May 10th
Is having a Christian friend so awful? Or having one girlfriend a few years older than yourself? Or is it really wrong to discuss religion? I wish someone would tell me. Everyone says I'm crazy for going around with Sandy. I wish I could prove that she really is a swell kid. Mom and Dad are getting awful lately. One minute I hate them and the next minute I love 'em. But they won't leave me alone! Several times they are right in their accusations but usually they just keep rambling on about nothing. Sometimes I cuss to myself.
I'm not sure how Sandy appeared in our lives given that she lived on Oak Avenue, a much older, non-Jewish neighborhood. But we started to play together when I was about 11 and she was maybe 14. She was a devout Christian and I think that at home she heard some non-flattering words about Jews. During our neighborhood "war" she called me a "dirty Jew". When my parents found out they were very upset and I don't think I really understood why. I also don't think that Sandy fully understood what she was saying. But life went on and we've remained friends throughout our lives.
May 14th
If there was any ice between me and Brian I think that it is broken now. We both had a fab time during history -- we wrote notes. I told him that he looked adorable in gym shorts and he blushed and said that I didn't look bad in a gym suit either. I got him to call tonight; I was worried that I might be chasing him but I did it anyway. But it worked out great 'cause we got into hysterics about a math problem. Brian is real swell!
Our gym suits were yellow-gold colored and we wore bloomers underneath. Yuck!
May 15th
I am in love with Brian. In a very mild form, of course, but it's still true. At the dance we danced the slow ones very close, my head almost touching his shoulder. I felt a fabulous sensation, like floating in a magnificent dream. We lost the election but I told him that he had still won -- with me. I have never been happier than tonight. Brian is my first real boyfriend. I hope he will stay so for a long time.
June 2nd
Brian has called me several times. We talk for about 1/2 hour. He is buying me 2 gifts for my birthday and he promised to write to me a lot in camp. He will send me any new pictures of himself taken while I am away. I am "his girl" and I love it. It's funny -- I never noticed him until he asked me out. I must have been blind. He is so sweet. I miss not seeing him Maybe I will meet up with him this summer. Brian has his faults, I will admit, but you couldn't ask for a more all-around swell boy. I wish I dared tell him how crazy I am about him. He knows I like him very much, but, well, you know how it is. I don't like Simon half the same way I do Brian, but I still feel a need to be on his team, talk to him, brag about Brian and other boys, or generally be with him and make him jealous. I can't explain it. I sort of like him in a vague way -- very vague.
Brian wrote me a few letters at camp, which of course I still have. And he got me a stuffed animal for my birthday. I recently reconnected with him on LinkedIn and he says that he remembers these days fondly.
September 14th
If I thought Brian was a dream, I hadn't reckoned with Danny. Danny has it all over Brian. Danny is cute -- black hair, brown eyes, smart, 9th grade A Poly student, nice and fun to be with. He also has a great build in sweaters and slacks. If I thought I liked Brian, well, I was NUTS compared to Danny. I have the BIGGEST crush on him. He asked me to a party and I flipped. I am crazy, absolutely wild about him. He's all I think and talk about. I don't know how to put it but I guess you can guess.
September 18th
Tomorrow I go out with the Big D! I can't believe it -- it's like a fabulous, fantastic dream! I am so excited I can hardly think. Imagine -- he'll come to my door dressed in a gorgeous suit, and escort me to the car. I'll be on Cloud 9 on another world. Whenever I think about it, I get a tingly feeling -- sort of a chilly excitement. Much more excitement than with Brian. I can't stand the thrills I'm experiencing. It's too long to wait! Approximately 21 hours. Wheeeeeee! Can't Wait!!
September 19th
I feel light, as if made of a fluffy cloud. It is 12:36 and I've just gotten home from my date with DANNY. It was a divine dream. We danced the slow ones with my head on his shoulder, cheek to cheek. I felt fabulously carefree and completely helpless against the gorgeous sensation of being with him. My only worry is -- did he enjoy being with me as much as I enjoyed being with him? I wonder, will I ever know? Perhaps tomorrow...perhaps never...
September 20th
My strong feelings for Danny grow stronger every day. I long to put my head on his shoulder, to dance as if on air and to hold his hand again. I get a warm feeling everytime I think of last night. I am dying for him to call me up. Of course he won't but I can hope. I feel a tremendous uplift whenever I see him...or touch him. If I were older, I guess you could call it love...and I will...I'm in love with Danny. It's no longer a mild thing...but a burning desire to be with him, cheek to cheek...
September 21st
I am still wildly, insanely in love with Danny, but it is hard as he does not make known his feelings about me. When I am with him I feel nervous, self-conscious -- longing to touch and hold him. He treats me indifferently when we are with a group. I know he likes me a tiny bit, but I need more than that. In school, at home, when I am not occupied, thoughts of him fill my mind. Darling Danny -- do you like me? I must know...I MUST!
September 22nd
Danny Winn is a magical name to me, to say or write, but at times I feel as though he does not exist, does not mean anything...but then I think about his warm, strong shoulder during a slow dance...and I melt all over. My biggest wish concerning him is entirely impossible...TO GO STEADY...super-delightful words, but I would be content for awhile to go out on another date with him. I found out from his mother that he had a great time on our last date...another hopeful sign. I see less of him now...maybe for the better, but I LOVE HIM SO!
September 23rd
I think less of Danny these days as my mind is full of other current matters. But very often I am unconsciously writing his name on papers and books, talking about him, blushing when his name is mentioned and searching his yard for signs of him. I get a queer, funny feeling when I think of last Saturday. Not the same warm glow -- I think I've forgotten my actual feelings and emotions during the party) -- but sort of an anxious longing to repeat those slow, warm, tingling dances...with Danny as my partner, dancing on a soft, fluffy cloud.
September 24th
I hardly see Danny at all these days and I rarely think about him during a school day. My feelings about him on the surface have lessened and I am less apt to talk about him. But deep down inside he is still my little hero -- boy of my dreams. I guess if I saw him more often my feelings for him would be stronger. Every night, though, I wish that he would come outside with all my heart so that I could worship him from close-up instead of afar. I love him, dear diary, but I guess that secret will die with me, without his ever knowing how much I want him.
September 25th
DANNY -- again, dear diary. I LOVE HIM! I'm afraid though that he doesn't like me as much as I would like him to...but I LOVE HIM. I'm at Karen's pajama party. The boys wanted to come in so we let them. I danced with Danny twice; he seemed to like Jan Sody and I was VERY jealous. Now that I've seen him again I am crazy about him! As a prize at the party, I got a record, "It's My Party". On the flip side is the song, "Danny". Woweee!! I LOVE DAN!
September 26th
I am sleeping over Sally's tonight. Frankly, for part of the evening I was bored to death. I wanted Danny and the rest of the neighborhood real real bad. I LOVE DANNY. I will never get tired of saying that. He makes me feel flushed, wildly excited. Karen's party was great, but I missed the boys after they left. The remainder of the party, today, followed the boys down to Price's. They started to throw apples but we eluded them and led them a merry chase home. The whole world must know that I LOVE MY DANNY!
Price's Dairy was the local ice cream place/soda shop.
September 27th
I just HATE the world, Danny included. First of all, I hate Mr. Plaine. He is making me go to school on a Jewish holiday. EVERYONE is staying home. We won't be doing any work; there will be less than 10 kids there. I am so mad!! Next, Danny has been making me real jealous and angry. He has been complimenting Jan and Sandy and making me feel like dirt. When we danced at Karen's party tonight, he didn't ask me to dance once. Either he is trying real real hard to make me jealous, or is being downright mean.
September 28th
Lover's sorrow --Oh, dear diary, I feel a dull ache in my heart and my eyes are wet, for I feel that, almost know that Danny does not care for me. I guess I knew that deep down, but I was too scared to admit it. I still like him, but it hurts to know that he prefers Jan to me. He is crazy about her. He gave me the cold shoulder, the brush-off. I guess that I'm a fool not to have seen it sooner than last night at Karen's party. But I'm not giving up. Maybe he'll like me if I don't chase him. Maybe.
September 29th
Danny Winn -- another name, another brief, wonderful experience. That's all that it amounts to now. I am almost positively positive that he doesn't feel for me the way I felt for him. I say felt because a large majority of my admiration and love for him is gone, gone with the wind as they say. I have only a tiny, hopeful spark of love for Danny which could be ignited again, though doubtful. I guess that this will wear off, too, in several days, and he will be just another boy. But oh, how I dread that moment.
September 30th
Danny Winn -- So, so, ho hum...who am I kidding? I still like him, more than I'd like to admit, but I'm on the prowl now, hunting for more attainable boys. I've heard from the class grapevine that Jerry Ginsberg likes me a little, but I wouldn't dare let Karen know, as she seems to be making preparations for his capture. My social life at the moment seems to be at a standstill. It's unbearable; if not for the LBJ campaign and Karen, I think that I'd go nuts. Maybe I have already -- who knows? But I feel that something exciting is coming soon...
Karen Brooks went to Milford (not Woodlawn, like the rest of us) after Sudbrook and we gradually grew apart. We stayed in touch for many years though, until she became president of the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM). She's had an illustrious career, as have a number of the kids from the ol' neighborhood.
October 1st
Ah...a new month. But doggone it, I'm in a pickle! Karen asked Darryl to Jill's party and now Jan wants to ask Danny, MY Danny. Who am I to say that she can't? He likes her and she likes him...Cute couple...What am I doing? I'm trying to kid myself again, I know, but I can't help it. I still like him SO much. But I'll try and hide my jealousy from Jan. She wouldn't ask him if she thought that she'd hurt me, so I can't tell her the truth, even though she probably already knows. Oh, Danny!!
October 2nd
How much of a fool can a girl be? I feel crushed, heart-broken. I've just discovered something that I've known deep inside but wouldn't admit. Danny is a WOLF, flirt and everything that goes with it. He leads a girl on, me for example, pretends he likes her and then drops her like dirt. From girl to girl he goes, probably causing heartbreak as in my case. I now see him in a different light, an unflattering, dim side of him that I've never seen before. I still like him, but this is beginning to fade away. Goodbye, Danny ---
October 3rd
No! No! I am not saying goodbye. I'm not a quitter. Sure Danny doesn't like me, but I'll show him. He practically ignores me now, but do I sulk? No! I am acting nonchalant and carefree, as if all the boys in the world are at my disposal. Even if that doesn't have any effect, I have other aces up my sleeve. Just you wait and see Danny Boy. I'm not a Danny-chaser any longer. And though I still am crazy about you, do you think I'm going to let you know it? Absolutely NOT!
October 4th
Oh, what am I to do? I love my Danny but he is gone forever. A boy prefers newer, fresher girls that he has not known in preference to "the girl next door". He told Sue that he used to like me, but now he likes Jan. I pretend to be nonchalant, but God -- I love him. It's plain to see that I mean nothing to him. It's so hard to put on an act -- I love him. I want him. Big deal -- I might as well want Richard Chamberlain for all the results I'll get. I've gotta do something, but what? Somebody tell me!
October 6th
I happened to be thinking about Marcia Fepelstein today, not that I envy her, but I do think she is lucky in one particular way -- she has a steady boyfriend. Ah, now that's my medicine -- a cure for the ills and pains in life. Most probably I would not want a steady once I got one, but for now, I need a boy for me and me alone. Danny is out of the question. Besides him liking Jan, I think I might be getting tired of him -- unbelievable-sounding, but true. I'd jump, though, if he asked me to go steady...I think....
October 7th
For the moment, and most likely for awhile, I am tired of Danny. I guess you can take just so much and then you lose interest. Sure, he's a sweet kid and all, but the magic about him is, for the most part, gone. I am feeling very depressed right now -- about everything. I hope it doesn't last long. I want a boyfriend so bad. For the most part, Danny occupied my mind for the past month. Every thought was Danny Danny Danny. But now what? To whom do I turn?
October 13th
I'm sorry that I haven't written lately, but I have been feeling rejected and depressed. But to go on -- Kar had a neighborhood party to which I couldn't go because i was sick, and it turned into a real mushy necking party. Sandy and Danny really went at it -- eyes closed while dancing, sitting real close, head on shoulder, etc. Danny is a born flirt. He is crazy about Sandy, when Jan isn't around. He's got a great opinion of himself. Sandy's sickening too. All she has to do is snap her fingers and Danny and Darryl come running. It's a big mess. (I'm jealous...)
October 23rd
Time has passed...I am now getting ready to go to Toby's pajama party. As I said, times have changed. Danny belongs to Sandy now -- all lock, stock and barrel of him. Jan despises him. Karen has fallen for Darryl, despite his hopeless love for Sandy. Sue likes Rick alot and vice versa. Hal is nuts about Jan and Jan likes him, too. That's about how it stands right now. But shh dear diary, don't breathe a word, but as much as I say I hate Danny, I still like him sort-of. Not much, but some. I wonder what's wrong with me?
October 29th
Do I like Danny? I wish I knew. He loves Sandy so much and vice versa. They both call each other, etc. You know the rest. I know one thing for sure -- if I do still like Danny it's not because of him alone, it's just that I'm jealous of Sandy because she has a boy who really likes her. Danny never liked me the way he likes Sandy. I wish that one day I was walking along and a cute boy appeared out of nowhere. I hope that I don't have to watch Danny and Sandy at the 8th and 9th grade dance on Monday, 'cause I'd just get sick. I DO STILL LIKE HIM!
November 2nd
I have just gotten home from a dance at Sudbrook (first one of the year). I am floating on Cloud 9 -- sound familiar? Only this time it's not Danny -- it's Johnny. Johnny who, you ask? Johnny Reese, my core teacher, of all people! He's about 23, college grad, great dresser (Wejuns, Adlers, etc.). Slight build, broad shoulders, rather thin. Very short hair, beautiful eyes, long nose, gorgeous smile. I share this adoration with Jean Michaelson who is really far gone with him. Of course it's just a childish infatuation, but he's adorable! I like him very much. I've decided to become an A core student.
November 4th
There goes my resolution to be an A core student. I just got a C on a unit test! He marked me down a B but I found a mistake that lowered my grade. He thought I was nuts but I think he respects me for it. He's really a doll. I think that he likes me a little. Good guy -- if only he wasn't so much older. Oh gosh darn it, I'm still thinking about Danny -- with Sandy this time. They really love each other. They're always together. Makes me sick. Also Karen is getting queer, or maybe it's me. At any rate, my spirits could stand a real big rise -- SOON!
November 5th
I can't explain why, but very often now Danny keeps popping into my mind. I know that I don't like him the way I used to; in a way when I'm around him I can't stand him! Probably because he is so crazy about Sandy. If that's so -- am I jealous? I wish someone would tell me. Another thing -- my lack of responsibility is beginning to worry me. I'm scared to be trusted with anything. Oh well, I guess I can overcome that, but what am I going to do about Danny? If I don't like him, then what do I feel???
November 9th
Cripe! Am I jealous! Sandy's got Danny, Jan has Hal, Sue has Rick and Darryl's got Karen. Where does that leave me? I want somebody, too! If I could make a wish come true right now, I'd wish that I had a boyfriend. Incidentally, Darryl told Sandy off -- bravo! He told her that he was sick of being stepped on; he is human, too! Sandy doesn't care, though -- she's got Danny. All Karen says now is Darryl Darryl Darryl! It's coming out of my ears! I want someone too! Please oh please oh please!!
November 25th
Hi again? Yep! Do you remember me? Well, I'm back again. I have sort of broken away from the neighborhood. They call me the "hibernating bear" meaning I am a limp, pale piece of mold because I never go out and fool around with them. Big deal; I really care whether they love me or not. I am having a pretty good time with my Bas Mitzvah coming up Friday. I can hardly believe it. I've gotten 34 gifts. I think I finally figured out why Danny keeps popping into my mind. He was the most recent of my boyfriends and I will think of him until I find another.
December 3rd
Hi! Things are going pretty well now. I've got lots of dances, parties and luncheons coming up. I no longer think about Danny except as an occasional memory. School is fairly good lately. I'm crazy about my core teacher. But as one famous guy said, "Just when you think you've got ends to meet, someone moves the other end." About Mr. Reese -- I think that he thinks that I'm a little immature. Probably because I'm so anxious to make him notice me. Also, I met a 13 year old 9th grader, Allan Oppenheimer at a dance. He's real sweet. Maybe...
December 4th
I wonder if you can run away from a memory. I mean, I never think about Danny except when I'm around him, and even then it's not because I like him a lot. I guess it's just because of a wonderful memory of a wonderful summer. Oh well. I absolutely love Mr. Reese now, but his case is hopeless. After all, he's only 12 years older than I am. I just got a sudden urge to read a dirty book like The Carpetbaggers or Tropic of Cancer. Another dead end on that too. Why run away from the fact that I just want a boyfriend.
December 6th
Boy, I really like Mr. Reese a lot. he makes school worth the week's work. Guess what I got today? A tape recorder! It really is a beauty. I am absolutely dying to record Reesey's voice; that would be a good trick! Every night I make a resolution not to mention Danny. I guess that it's just looking over my diary that makes me think of him. After all, it was 2 or 3 months that I liked him. Oh well -- try to fight City Hall. You know who's really a great kid? Karen -- when she's in the mood you can really have a great discussion with her.
December 15th
John Reese sure is a swell guy. He acts so much like us kids it's hard to believe that he's actually a teacher! Anyway, vacation is coming up but before we can scram out of this place we gotta suffer through several million tests. Oh well, you can't win them all (but you can try). Right now I am sick and tired of everything except boys. I don't think that I ever will get tired of boys, ever. Nothin' else is new, so until I write again -- Au revoir!
December 19th
It is 11:50 and I've just gotten home from my date with Danny...Zlotowitz, not Winn! I had a wonderful time. It was so funny -- we started out slow-dancing far apart and when we finished we were dancing so very close. He's a swell kid -- certainly not another Mr. Novak, but a very nice, considerate date. Actaully, we were up against the Park School crowd -- a tough nut to crack -- so the two of us stuck pretty much together. I had a great time.
December 21st
I just had to write down how I feel. Danny W. and Sue came over this afternoon. As soon as I saw him again, I realized with a shock that I still like him! Not a real lot, but enough. He mentioned that Karen likes him now and not Darryl (conceited kid), but he likes Jan better. I winced inwardly but didn't say anything. He thinks I've lost interest in him completely and that's the way it's gonna stay. I ain't tellin' nobody nuttin'. But for goodness sakes -- why do I STILL like him??
Letters:
6/28 - "The bus trip was long, but much nicer than the train. When we arrived, Miss Sandy assigned me to Bunk #8, along with Sally, Becky, Vicki B and Shelley Sweren from Balto. Also, Sandy and Andy from CT. Two other kids besides me brought transistors (they know the best local stations) and Jan brought her banjo. Our counselors are Miss Charlotte, Miss Buster and Miss Janet...Miss Lee is still here but many of the horses are not; we have a lot of new ones...I sleep above Sally in the upper bunk. I have a lovely view of the lake through the trees. It is a beautiful silver with some green and brown in it at this time of the morning."
7/9 - "You'll never believe this, but I planned for the longest time what I was going to say to you on the phone, but when I actually was talking last night I forgot everything! I guess that I was excited and nervous. But anyway -- you all sounded great! Right now the temperature up here is in the 60's. It's wet, damp and rainy, but we don't mind. there is still plenty to do. So what if we freeze -- we still have something to do -- defrost!...Today is Penny Day when you get a penny if a person with one asks you a question and you answer YES or NO. When Penny Day ends, the people with 1 or more pennies have to put on a skit for evening activities. I got about 6 during the day but at the end of the day I didn't have one! This morning I fed the horses. Boy do I love them. My favorite one is Joey. Guess what? Yesterday I CANTERED on Joey! That is a horse gait a little slower than a gallop. Isn't that cool!!...Thanks for the candy and books that you sent me. The bunk sure appreciated the birthday gift box and they said to say thanks!
7/17 - "I went riding this afternoon. I rode Harriet. Her gaits were good but she wouldn't stop following Joey. I can't stand horses that are followers...During rest hour we had Jr. Life Saving. My endurance has built up and I am doing swell. Next Thursday we will have a 2 hour written final."
Today was the day of the annual Tyrole Camp Reunion at Paul's Restaurant. it was the best reunion I've ever been to! The new kids seemed to like me and I liked them. Even Miss Sandy called on me to lead a song -- I wasn't expecting it and was my face red! The games were great. Sally and me were partners in one, and in another I got the only points that our team ended up with. I [sic] was a great day!
January 19th
I am writing by flashlight because Dad said to turn out my light. Today we went to the Hopkins Club with Nana and Papa. We had a private room. It was pretty good. Jeff is such a pest lately that I can't stand it. Everything I do or say he contradicts. I may sound like a complaining machine but Dad and Mom won't get off my back. Do this. Do that. Stand up straight. Oh well.
January 20th
Today in school we had our english mid-year exam. I think that I did fairly well but I'm not sure. When I got home from school, Sue came over and we played jacks and listened to records. When Mom came in she said that Papa is in the hospital with a heart attack, but as far as I know he's OK. Nana ate dinner over and she's pretty composed. There was a tiny field mouse in the utility room. Boy did Mom scream!
January 21st
I am so worried about Papa. I prayed real hard for him to get better. I sure hope my prayers reach God. I do love him so much. I can't wait for this Exam Week to be over. I feel guilty because I haven't prepared enough. I won't make this mistake again! I want to get in the Eccelerate [Accelerated] Program real bad, but I probably won't make it. I'm very pessimistic. Mom and Dad are going to be disappointed.
January 22nd
It seems as though nothing is going right lately. Today we had our Mid-Year in Math and I flunked it. I started to cry right in front of Mr. Lominsky and he said that he'd see what he could do. Otherwise, I got an 88 on my Art Quiz and I also bought an ant farm for my science project. I am real worried about this report card. I just know that I'm not going to make the Merit List. I wish I could disappear!
January 24th
Sally, Sue, Carol and I had loads of fun this evening! We played gossip, charades and hide-and-go-seek. We might go ice skating tomorrow. After Sue and Caro left, Aunt Marilyn talked about the competition in private schools and colleges. She made me realize how important a good education is. I guess I had better try much harder if I expect to land in a good college. I know that I am not attempting to very hard right now.
January 25th
Talk about jinxes! Listen to this: It was rainy and cloudy this morning. My hair didn't turn out. I left my skating card home and had to buy a new one.
I had to borrow 65 cents from Aunt Marilyn and $1.00 from Jeff. My toes and legs hurt from the ice skates. A lot of stuff was stolen from my pocketbook. But I am confident that next week will be a lot better. Don't worry, dear diary.
January 26th
Right now I have a splitting headache, but boy was today wonderful! We went out to eat at "Something" Inn. The food was great and we all, including Nana, had a swell time. We also went to the hospital to see Papa. It was my first time there. He is getting along fine. The Wizard of Oz was on tonight for the 6th straight year, but it was great, too. Tomorrow should only be so good.
January 28th
Wowee, was today great! To start off the list, I got a B on my History exam, a B on my english exam, a 90 on my second math exam, a check+ and an A in spelling and an A in Junior Spastic [Junior Scholastic]. Besides, I think that the boys are starting to like me. I can't make up my mind about Simon. I don't know whether to tell him off, to try to start over or what. Secretly, I really do like him; I think he's cute. But I wouldn't let a soul know that.
Simon lived across the street. We played together as kids, and I "liked him liked him" in elementary school. We learned to jitterbug together in my basement for the 5th grade dances.
January 29th
We had a sub in CORE [Core subjects -- English and History] today, but we couldn't pull off anything; she was up to date. Simon's mother came over at 8:30 tonight and asked me to take his science book report to class because he's sick -- physically, that is, although I'm not sure. Anyway, I said yes and I hoped that he would feel better. I can't wait to get a letter from my pen pal. We get report cards Monday.
January 30th
Today was a fairly good day. In CORE I got a B+, a B- and a C. I am thoroughly confused in science but math is a little better. We jumped rope in the activity room in gym because of the concert. In art I am just about finished with project 15. I went to Hebrew School and Smelly [Mr. Smelkinson] was absent. Saye took his place. I watched Dr. Kildare and boy, is Richard Chamberlain cute! Wow! I've got a big crush on him. He's so
January 31st
I am very sleepy, so please excuse me if I make mistakes. Today there was no school and I didn't do much except go to the orthodontist. This evening all of us went to Chizuk [Chizuk Amuno] to see Barbara Sue Katzoff's Bas Mitzvah. It was my first Bas Mitzvah and now, from seeing it, I'm a little apprehensive about my own. In fact, I'm downright scared! I wish I could think of witty remarks on the spur of the moment.
February 3rd
Today we got report cards. I did very well in mostly every subject. I made the Merit List and I had one more point than last time. but I have to try much harder in Comp and Grammar, and math. Otherwise I'm satisfied with my marks. I have decided, for the 50 millionth time, to "start afresh" and to aim for even better grades. I don't know how long this binge will last. Jimmy Trosch lended me some Mad magazines which I want to read now.
February 8th
Tonight I went to Steve Kraus' Bar Mitzvah party -- my first. Steve looked real cute and he was very polite. There were 10 boys and 10 girls there. It wasn't wild at all. In fact, the boys seemed to enjoy dancing with the girls. I danced several dances, about half of which I asked the boys. Barry and I won the freeze contest and I danced a lot of twists. It was pretty good, but I wish that I were more popular and was asked to dance more often.
Barry was another boy from elementary school. He liked me more than I liked him. We went all the way through high school together and I was saddened to hear of his death shortly after our 20th reunion. Supposedly the cause was drugs.
April 17th
Tonight was the Spotlight Hop, or if you would prefer, the Elections Dance. It was held in the cafeteria with beautiful decorations. Lee Case was the disc jockey and he had great records. Everyone was keyed up, waiting for the outcome of the elections. I danced with several boys, including Darryl. Boy was that funny! [Darryl was much taller than I.] The winners were: Student Council President -- Beth Himmelstein, V.P. -- Roger Myerberg, Secretary -- Karen Brooks, Treasurer -- Brian Silberg. I am very happy for Karen because she deserves that honor, but I'm still a little jealous. Next year I think I will run for office, perhaps secretary.
April 27th
My first real date!!! Brian Sobelman asked me to Larry's Bar Mitzvah party at Suburban Orthodox Synogogue! I am floating around on Cloud 9. He's not exactly Richard Chamberlain, but he's sweet and shy in his own way. Talk about excitement! He asked me this morning after science. It will be held on May 30th. I can't wait! I found out that he really likes me, and I like him. He's a swell kid. He's 10 times better than last year's fuddy duddies!
April 29th
Brian is swell, but he could have a little more initiative -- like calling me up for instance. I wanted him to call desperately so I sent him a note in 7th period math. I said that I was having trouble with my math and could he call me and help me with it. He agreed to call at 7:30 but nothing special came out of it. I am slipping a little on my math. I don't hand in my homework. I guess I'm not trying very hard.
April 30th
I am crazy about Brian! He's a doll. I am so afraid of losing him that I chase him, maybe a little too much. I asked him for his picture. He wanted to swap but I didn't keep mine. He's giving his to me anyway. I am a little jealous of Connie even though she wants to leave him all for me. I know he likes her a little because he asked for her picture when we got them back. I hope he doesn't get tired of me.
May 4th
Ronnie (Rhonda Dickman) is giving a Bas Mitzvah barbeque on May 31st. I am invited...and...well, you can guess who I'm taking as my date! Brian!! I called him tonight at 7 and he accepted. So that makes it 2 dates with the Big B, one right after the other. I have the formal on the 30th and the barbeque on the 31st. Man oh man oh man! Brian is swell! Brian Brian Brian Brian!
May 10th
Is having a Christian friend so awful? Or having one girlfriend a few years older than yourself? Or is it really wrong to discuss religion? I wish someone would tell me. Everyone says I'm crazy for going around with Sandy. I wish I could prove that she really is a swell kid. Mom and Dad are getting awful lately. One minute I hate them and the next minute I love 'em. But they won't leave me alone! Several times they are right in their accusations but usually they just keep rambling on about nothing. Sometimes I cuss to myself.
I'm not sure how Sandy appeared in our lives given that she lived on Oak Avenue, a much older, non-Jewish neighborhood. But we started to play together when I was about 11 and she was maybe 14. She was a devout Christian and I think that at home she heard some non-flattering words about Jews. During our neighborhood "war" she called me a "dirty Jew". When my parents found out they were very upset and I don't think I really understood why. I also don't think that Sandy fully understood what she was saying. But life went on and we've remained friends throughout our lives.
May 14th
If there was any ice between me and Brian I think that it is broken now. We both had a fab time during history -- we wrote notes. I told him that he looked adorable in gym shorts and he blushed and said that I didn't look bad in a gym suit either. I got him to call tonight; I was worried that I might be chasing him but I did it anyway. But it worked out great 'cause we got into hysterics about a math problem. Brian is real swell!
Our gym suits were yellow-gold colored and we wore bloomers underneath. Yuck!
May 15th
I am in love with Brian. In a very mild form, of course, but it's still true. At the dance we danced the slow ones very close, my head almost touching his shoulder. I felt a fabulous sensation, like floating in a magnificent dream. We lost the election but I told him that he had still won -- with me. I have never been happier than tonight. Brian is my first real boyfriend. I hope he will stay so for a long time.
June 2nd
Brian has called me several times. We talk for about 1/2 hour. He is buying me 2 gifts for my birthday and he promised to write to me a lot in camp. He will send me any new pictures of himself taken while I am away. I am "his girl" and I love it. It's funny -- I never noticed him until he asked me out. I must have been blind. He is so sweet. I miss not seeing him Maybe I will meet up with him this summer. Brian has his faults, I will admit, but you couldn't ask for a more all-around swell boy. I wish I dared tell him how crazy I am about him. He knows I like him very much, but, well, you know how it is. I don't like Simon half the same way I do Brian, but I still feel a need to be on his team, talk to him, brag about Brian and other boys, or generally be with him and make him jealous. I can't explain it. I sort of like him in a vague way -- very vague.
Brian wrote me a few letters at camp, which of course I still have. And he got me a stuffed animal for my birthday. I recently reconnected with him on LinkedIn and he says that he remembers these days fondly.
September 14th
If I thought Brian was a dream, I hadn't reckoned with Danny. Danny has it all over Brian. Danny is cute -- black hair, brown eyes, smart, 9th grade A Poly student, nice and fun to be with. He also has a great build in sweaters and slacks. If I thought I liked Brian, well, I was NUTS compared to Danny. I have the BIGGEST crush on him. He asked me to a party and I flipped. I am crazy, absolutely wild about him. He's all I think and talk about. I don't know how to put it but I guess you can guess.
September 18th
Tomorrow I go out with the Big D! I can't believe it -- it's like a fabulous, fantastic dream! I am so excited I can hardly think. Imagine -- he'll come to my door dressed in a gorgeous suit, and escort me to the car. I'll be on Cloud 9 on another world. Whenever I think about it, I get a tingly feeling -- sort of a chilly excitement. Much more excitement than with Brian. I can't stand the thrills I'm experiencing. It's too long to wait! Approximately 21 hours. Wheeeeeee! Can't Wait!!
September 19th
I feel light, as if made of a fluffy cloud. It is 12:36 and I've just gotten home from my date with DANNY. It was a divine dream. We danced the slow ones with my head on his shoulder, cheek to cheek. I felt fabulously carefree and completely helpless against the gorgeous sensation of being with him. My only worry is -- did he enjoy being with me as much as I enjoyed being with him? I wonder, will I ever know? Perhaps tomorrow...perhaps never...
September 20th
My strong feelings for Danny grow stronger every day. I long to put my head on his shoulder, to dance as if on air and to hold his hand again. I get a warm feeling everytime I think of last night. I am dying for him to call me up. Of course he won't but I can hope. I feel a tremendous uplift whenever I see him...or touch him. If I were older, I guess you could call it love...and I will...I'm in love with Danny. It's no longer a mild thing...but a burning desire to be with him, cheek to cheek...
September 21st
I am still wildly, insanely in love with Danny, but it is hard as he does not make known his feelings about me. When I am with him I feel nervous, self-conscious -- longing to touch and hold him. He treats me indifferently when we are with a group. I know he likes me a tiny bit, but I need more than that. In school, at home, when I am not occupied, thoughts of him fill my mind. Darling Danny -- do you like me? I must know...I MUST!
September 22nd
Danny Winn is a magical name to me, to say or write, but at times I feel as though he does not exist, does not mean anything...but then I think about his warm, strong shoulder during a slow dance...and I melt all over. My biggest wish concerning him is entirely impossible...TO GO STEADY...super-delightful words, but I would be content for awhile to go out on another date with him. I found out from his mother that he had a great time on our last date...another hopeful sign. I see less of him now...maybe for the better, but I LOVE HIM SO!
September 23rd
I think less of Danny these days as my mind is full of other current matters. But very often I am unconsciously writing his name on papers and books, talking about him, blushing when his name is mentioned and searching his yard for signs of him. I get a queer, funny feeling when I think of last Saturday. Not the same warm glow -- I think I've forgotten my actual feelings and emotions during the party) -- but sort of an anxious longing to repeat those slow, warm, tingling dances...with Danny as my partner, dancing on a soft, fluffy cloud.
September 24th
I hardly see Danny at all these days and I rarely think about him during a school day. My feelings about him on the surface have lessened and I am less apt to talk about him. But deep down inside he is still my little hero -- boy of my dreams. I guess if I saw him more often my feelings for him would be stronger. Every night, though, I wish that he would come outside with all my heart so that I could worship him from close-up instead of afar. I love him, dear diary, but I guess that secret will die with me, without his ever knowing how much I want him.
September 25th
DANNY -- again, dear diary. I LOVE HIM! I'm afraid though that he doesn't like me as much as I would like him to...but I LOVE HIM. I'm at Karen's pajama party. The boys wanted to come in so we let them. I danced with Danny twice; he seemed to like Jan Sody and I was VERY jealous. Now that I've seen him again I am crazy about him! As a prize at the party, I got a record, "It's My Party". On the flip side is the song, "Danny". Woweee!! I LOVE DAN!
September 26th
I am sleeping over Sally's tonight. Frankly, for part of the evening I was bored to death. I wanted Danny and the rest of the neighborhood real real bad. I LOVE DANNY. I will never get tired of saying that. He makes me feel flushed, wildly excited. Karen's party was great, but I missed the boys after they left. The remainder of the party, today, followed the boys down to Price's. They started to throw apples but we eluded them and led them a merry chase home. The whole world must know that I LOVE MY DANNY!
Price's Dairy was the local ice cream place/soda shop.
September 27th
I just HATE the world, Danny included. First of all, I hate Mr. Plaine. He is making me go to school on a Jewish holiday. EVERYONE is staying home. We won't be doing any work; there will be less than 10 kids there. I am so mad!! Next, Danny has been making me real jealous and angry. He has been complimenting Jan and Sandy and making me feel like dirt. When we danced at Karen's party tonight, he didn't ask me to dance once. Either he is trying real real hard to make me jealous, or is being downright mean.
September 28th
Lover's sorrow --Oh, dear diary, I feel a dull ache in my heart and my eyes are wet, for I feel that, almost know that Danny does not care for me. I guess I knew that deep down, but I was too scared to admit it. I still like him, but it hurts to know that he prefers Jan to me. He is crazy about her. He gave me the cold shoulder, the brush-off. I guess that I'm a fool not to have seen it sooner than last night at Karen's party. But I'm not giving up. Maybe he'll like me if I don't chase him. Maybe.
September 29th
Danny Winn -- another name, another brief, wonderful experience. That's all that it amounts to now. I am almost positively positive that he doesn't feel for me the way I felt for him. I say felt because a large majority of my admiration and love for him is gone, gone with the wind as they say. I have only a tiny, hopeful spark of love for Danny which could be ignited again, though doubtful. I guess that this will wear off, too, in several days, and he will be just another boy. But oh, how I dread that moment.
September 30th
Danny Winn -- So, so, ho hum...who am I kidding? I still like him, more than I'd like to admit, but I'm on the prowl now, hunting for more attainable boys. I've heard from the class grapevine that Jerry Ginsberg likes me a little, but I wouldn't dare let Karen know, as she seems to be making preparations for his capture. My social life at the moment seems to be at a standstill. It's unbearable; if not for the LBJ campaign and Karen, I think that I'd go nuts. Maybe I have already -- who knows? But I feel that something exciting is coming soon...
Karen Brooks went to Milford (not Woodlawn, like the rest of us) after Sudbrook and we gradually grew apart. We stayed in touch for many years though, until she became president of the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM). She's had an illustrious career, as have a number of the kids from the ol' neighborhood.
October 1st
Ah...a new month. But doggone it, I'm in a pickle! Karen asked Darryl to Jill's party and now Jan wants to ask Danny, MY Danny. Who am I to say that she can't? He likes her and she likes him...Cute couple...What am I doing? I'm trying to kid myself again, I know, but I can't help it. I still like him SO much. But I'll try and hide my jealousy from Jan. She wouldn't ask him if she thought that she'd hurt me, so I can't tell her the truth, even though she probably already knows. Oh, Danny!!
October 2nd
How much of a fool can a girl be? I feel crushed, heart-broken. I've just discovered something that I've known deep inside but wouldn't admit. Danny is a WOLF, flirt and everything that goes with it. He leads a girl on, me for example, pretends he likes her and then drops her like dirt. From girl to girl he goes, probably causing heartbreak as in my case. I now see him in a different light, an unflattering, dim side of him that I've never seen before. I still like him, but this is beginning to fade away. Goodbye, Danny ---
October 3rd
No! No! I am not saying goodbye. I'm not a quitter. Sure Danny doesn't like me, but I'll show him. He practically ignores me now, but do I sulk? No! I am acting nonchalant and carefree, as if all the boys in the world are at my disposal. Even if that doesn't have any effect, I have other aces up my sleeve. Just you wait and see Danny Boy. I'm not a Danny-chaser any longer. And though I still am crazy about you, do you think I'm going to let you know it? Absolutely NOT!
October 4th
Oh, what am I to do? I love my Danny but he is gone forever. A boy prefers newer, fresher girls that he has not known in preference to "the girl next door". He told Sue that he used to like me, but now he likes Jan. I pretend to be nonchalant, but God -- I love him. It's plain to see that I mean nothing to him. It's so hard to put on an act -- I love him. I want him. Big deal -- I might as well want Richard Chamberlain for all the results I'll get. I've gotta do something, but what? Somebody tell me!
October 6th
I happened to be thinking about Marcia Fepelstein today, not that I envy her, but I do think she is lucky in one particular way -- she has a steady boyfriend. Ah, now that's my medicine -- a cure for the ills and pains in life. Most probably I would not want a steady once I got one, but for now, I need a boy for me and me alone. Danny is out of the question. Besides him liking Jan, I think I might be getting tired of him -- unbelievable-sounding, but true. I'd jump, though, if he asked me to go steady...I think....
October 7th
For the moment, and most likely for awhile, I am tired of Danny. I guess you can take just so much and then you lose interest. Sure, he's a sweet kid and all, but the magic about him is, for the most part, gone. I am feeling very depressed right now -- about everything. I hope it doesn't last long. I want a boyfriend so bad. For the most part, Danny occupied my mind for the past month. Every thought was Danny Danny Danny. But now what? To whom do I turn?
October 13th
I'm sorry that I haven't written lately, but I have been feeling rejected and depressed. But to go on -- Kar had a neighborhood party to which I couldn't go because i was sick, and it turned into a real mushy necking party. Sandy and Danny really went at it -- eyes closed while dancing, sitting real close, head on shoulder, etc. Danny is a born flirt. He is crazy about Sandy, when Jan isn't around. He's got a great opinion of himself. Sandy's sickening too. All she has to do is snap her fingers and Danny and Darryl come running. It's a big mess. (I'm jealous...)
October 23rd
Time has passed...I am now getting ready to go to Toby's pajama party. As I said, times have changed. Danny belongs to Sandy now -- all lock, stock and barrel of him. Jan despises him. Karen has fallen for Darryl, despite his hopeless love for Sandy. Sue likes Rick alot and vice versa. Hal is nuts about Jan and Jan likes him, too. That's about how it stands right now. But shh dear diary, don't breathe a word, but as much as I say I hate Danny, I still like him sort-of. Not much, but some. I wonder what's wrong with me?
October 29th
Do I like Danny? I wish I knew. He loves Sandy so much and vice versa. They both call each other, etc. You know the rest. I know one thing for sure -- if I do still like Danny it's not because of him alone, it's just that I'm jealous of Sandy because she has a boy who really likes her. Danny never liked me the way he likes Sandy. I wish that one day I was walking along and a cute boy appeared out of nowhere. I hope that I don't have to watch Danny and Sandy at the 8th and 9th grade dance on Monday, 'cause I'd just get sick. I DO STILL LIKE HIM!
November 2nd
I have just gotten home from a dance at Sudbrook (first one of the year). I am floating on Cloud 9 -- sound familiar? Only this time it's not Danny -- it's Johnny. Johnny who, you ask? Johnny Reese, my core teacher, of all people! He's about 23, college grad, great dresser (Wejuns, Adlers, etc.). Slight build, broad shoulders, rather thin. Very short hair, beautiful eyes, long nose, gorgeous smile. I share this adoration with Jean Michaelson who is really far gone with him. Of course it's just a childish infatuation, but he's adorable! I like him very much. I've decided to become an A core student.
November 4th
There goes my resolution to be an A core student. I just got a C on a unit test! He marked me down a B but I found a mistake that lowered my grade. He thought I was nuts but I think he respects me for it. He's really a doll. I think that he likes me a little. Good guy -- if only he wasn't so much older. Oh gosh darn it, I'm still thinking about Danny -- with Sandy this time. They really love each other. They're always together. Makes me sick. Also Karen is getting queer, or maybe it's me. At any rate, my spirits could stand a real big rise -- SOON!
November 5th
I can't explain why, but very often now Danny keeps popping into my mind. I know that I don't like him the way I used to; in a way when I'm around him I can't stand him! Probably because he is so crazy about Sandy. If that's so -- am I jealous? I wish someone would tell me. Another thing -- my lack of responsibility is beginning to worry me. I'm scared to be trusted with anything. Oh well, I guess I can overcome that, but what am I going to do about Danny? If I don't like him, then what do I feel???
November 9th
Cripe! Am I jealous! Sandy's got Danny, Jan has Hal, Sue has Rick and Darryl's got Karen. Where does that leave me? I want somebody, too! If I could make a wish come true right now, I'd wish that I had a boyfriend. Incidentally, Darryl told Sandy off -- bravo! He told her that he was sick of being stepped on; he is human, too! Sandy doesn't care, though -- she's got Danny. All Karen says now is Darryl Darryl Darryl! It's coming out of my ears! I want someone too! Please oh please oh please!!
November 25th
Hi again? Yep! Do you remember me? Well, I'm back again. I have sort of broken away from the neighborhood. They call me the "hibernating bear" meaning I am a limp, pale piece of mold because I never go out and fool around with them. Big deal; I really care whether they love me or not. I am having a pretty good time with my Bas Mitzvah coming up Friday. I can hardly believe it. I've gotten 34 gifts. I think I finally figured out why Danny keeps popping into my mind. He was the most recent of my boyfriends and I will think of him until I find another.
December 3rd
Hi! Things are going pretty well now. I've got lots of dances, parties and luncheons coming up. I no longer think about Danny except as an occasional memory. School is fairly good lately. I'm crazy about my core teacher. But as one famous guy said, "Just when you think you've got ends to meet, someone moves the other end." About Mr. Reese -- I think that he thinks that I'm a little immature. Probably because I'm so anxious to make him notice me. Also, I met a 13 year old 9th grader, Allan Oppenheimer at a dance. He's real sweet. Maybe...
December 4th
I wonder if you can run away from a memory. I mean, I never think about Danny except when I'm around him, and even then it's not because I like him a lot. I guess it's just because of a wonderful memory of a wonderful summer. Oh well. I absolutely love Mr. Reese now, but his case is hopeless. After all, he's only 12 years older than I am. I just got a sudden urge to read a dirty book like The Carpetbaggers or Tropic of Cancer. Another dead end on that too. Why run away from the fact that I just want a boyfriend.
December 6th
Boy, I really like Mr. Reese a lot. he makes school worth the week's work. Guess what I got today? A tape recorder! It really is a beauty. I am absolutely dying to record Reesey's voice; that would be a good trick! Every night I make a resolution not to mention Danny. I guess that it's just looking over my diary that makes me think of him. After all, it was 2 or 3 months that I liked him. Oh well -- try to fight City Hall. You know who's really a great kid? Karen -- when she's in the mood you can really have a great discussion with her.
December 15th
John Reese sure is a swell guy. He acts so much like us kids it's hard to believe that he's actually a teacher! Anyway, vacation is coming up but before we can scram out of this place we gotta suffer through several million tests. Oh well, you can't win them all (but you can try). Right now I am sick and tired of everything except boys. I don't think that I ever will get tired of boys, ever. Nothin' else is new, so until I write again -- Au revoir!
December 19th
It is 11:50 and I've just gotten home from my date with Danny...Zlotowitz, not Winn! I had a wonderful time. It was so funny -- we started out slow-dancing far apart and when we finished we were dancing so very close. He's a swell kid -- certainly not another Mr. Novak, but a very nice, considerate date. Actaully, we were up against the Park School crowd -- a tough nut to crack -- so the two of us stuck pretty much together. I had a great time.
December 21st
I just had to write down how I feel. Danny W. and Sue came over this afternoon. As soon as I saw him again, I realized with a shock that I still like him! Not a real lot, but enough. He mentioned that Karen likes him now and not Darryl (conceited kid), but he likes Jan better. I winced inwardly but didn't say anything. He thinks I've lost interest in him completely and that's the way it's gonna stay. I ain't tellin' nobody nuttin'. But for goodness sakes -- why do I STILL like him??
Letters:
6/28 - "The bus trip was long, but much nicer than the train. When we arrived, Miss Sandy assigned me to Bunk #8, along with Sally, Becky, Vicki B and Shelley Sweren from Balto. Also, Sandy and Andy from CT. Two other kids besides me brought transistors (they know the best local stations) and Jan brought her banjo. Our counselors are Miss Charlotte, Miss Buster and Miss Janet...Miss Lee is still here but many of the horses are not; we have a lot of new ones...I sleep above Sally in the upper bunk. I have a lovely view of the lake through the trees. It is a beautiful silver with some green and brown in it at this time of the morning."
7/9 - "You'll never believe this, but I planned for the longest time what I was going to say to you on the phone, but when I actually was talking last night I forgot everything! I guess that I was excited and nervous. But anyway -- you all sounded great! Right now the temperature up here is in the 60's. It's wet, damp and rainy, but we don't mind. there is still plenty to do. So what if we freeze -- we still have something to do -- defrost!...Today is Penny Day when you get a penny if a person with one asks you a question and you answer YES or NO. When Penny Day ends, the people with 1 or more pennies have to put on a skit for evening activities. I got about 6 during the day but at the end of the day I didn't have one! This morning I fed the horses. Boy do I love them. My favorite one is Joey. Guess what? Yesterday I CANTERED on Joey! That is a horse gait a little slower than a gallop. Isn't that cool!!...Thanks for the candy and books that you sent me. The bunk sure appreciated the birthday gift box and they said to say thanks!
7/17 - "I went riding this afternoon. I rode Harriet. Her gaits were good but she wouldn't stop following Joey. I can't stand horses that are followers...During rest hour we had Jr. Life Saving. My endurance has built up and I am doing swell. Next Thursday we will have a 2 hour written final."
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